Earlier today, our buddy and cohort Nicole mentioned that Matt Damon has been named Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine. We were shocked by this for one reason: His name does not include the words Depp, Clooney, or McConaughey. We know that people are all “meh” on Matt Damon, and that’s fine. More Matt Damon for us. But let us tell you, briefly, why Matt Damon makes our little ticker pound.
- Son of a Boston schoolteacher.
- Son of a Boston schoolteacher who went to Harvard.
- He never graduated Harvard. Know why? Because he's Matt Damon.
- OK, listen: Good Will Hunting? Not that bad.
- Won an Oscar. Brought mom to the ceremony. And he’s not even gay.
- The Talented Mr. Ripley.
- The Departed.
- Married a normal person.
- Those eyes, that chin, those lips. And to seal the deal? That smirk.
- Did we mention The Departed? We really, really liked The Departed.
- He’s part-Finnish. We are part-Finnish. Perhaps we are Matt Damon. Congratulate us! We rule!