So I've been a little scarce around here lately. The reason? I'm fleeing the country for India and Thailand in like, um, an hour. Did you know there's a shitload of stuff you have to do before you leave for two months? Well, I do now. Anyway, while Scanner Nicole is away, and when she's back, and hopefully for a long, long time after that, Scanner Emily and Scanner Bryan are going to continue rocking your worlds and blowing the lid off of Gawker, Usher, and how to make adulterous magic with Dollly Parton (we are so seriously making a stop off at Dollywood to put the moves on her, thanks Bryan!). To recap, for the next two months or so, Emily and Bryan: playing with your sick, twisted little minds. Me: playing with tigers covered in piglets. Because, shit, I already have the outfit.