We're not going to lie: we have yet to see "Trapped in the Closet." We know it would be life-changing and we're not sure if we're quite ready for all that would follow after looking so deeply into the psyche of the man who is R. Kelly. But someone who can handle such things has rounded up R. Kelly's greatest metaphors, including, but not limited to "Sex Planet" (from Double Up, 2007):
"Now it's just us both/I've got the controls in the middle of darkness/Girl, relax and just flow/I'm about to twinkle it and touch your soul/Once I enter into your black hole/Girl, now that you're next to me, we'll be just like satellites/Watching over the Earth, we'll make space our paradise/Girl, I promise this will be painless/We'll take a trip to planet Uranus."
Yes, let's all go on a mission to planet Uranus, shall we?
Broward-Palm Beach: Sex and the Ditty