Normally at this time of year, I, Scanner Bryan, would have spent the last couple days giving myself a couple massive hangovers and then surviving them via Gatorade, Chinese takeout, and OTC painkillers (well, OTC if you're in Canada). But this year, I wound up with an inordinate amount of stuff to do around the house over New Year's break, meaning that the only thing I'm thankful to have survived in the last 2 days is TNT's 36-hour Law & Order marathon, of which I believe I saw approximately 176%. Honestly, I'm not even the biggest fan of the show, so I'm not entirely sure how I wound up seeing so much of it while re-organizing my bathroom, assembling Ikea furniture, and cooking pigeon peas to celebrate the holiday. (They were out of black-eyed peas.) Actually, towards the end, I think I was inventing things to do in front of the TV just to avoid walking away, which distressed both my wife and myself. Thankfully, the marathon is over as of a couple hours ago, giving me the closure that I was unable to give myself. Did I learn anything? My debriefing (heh) follows.
I don't remember Angie Harmon being So. Freaking. Hot. Seriously, what does that mean? I used to be a more Jill Hennessey type. But maybe the guilty pleasures of Women's Murder Club have made me rethink this one? (Also a possibility: now that I'm older and less idiotic, maybe she seems microscopically less out-of-my-league.)
I really wish I could do a Sam Waterston impression. I'd save it for every indignant thing I ever had to say to anyone ever. "Out of black-eyed peas?" (Cue subtle bobbing of head.) "How can the people have a lucky new year without a reasonable expectation of black-eyed peas?"
Isn't it crazy how characters totally used to sleep around and get each other in trouble and stuff? It seems kind of like the relationships have grown more precious of late, less volatile. Sure, ADA Serena Southerlyn revealed herself to be a lesbian. But man, what is that compared to her predecessor Claire Kincaid, who not only banged her then-womanizing boss (Jack McCoy use to what?!?) but also got killed giving a blottoed Detectve Lennie Briscoe a ride home. Scandale!
Actually, did I miss all of the old, old episodes or did they just ignore those? What, no Mike Logan, no Ben Stone? Does A&E still own those?
Thankfully, now that TNT is back to showing
Cold Case,
Without a Trace, and Mel Gibson movies over and over again, I can quit consulting the awesome character graph on
L&O's Wikipedia page and get back to my actual life in New York City. Oh, wait, except for the part where the new season of
Law & Order premieres Wednesday night, featuring a foxy new haircut for ADA Connie Rubirosa and a couple of new cast members, including Batman's daddy and Brenda's crazy brother. I'd like to say I'll skip it, but hey, what the hell else is new on TV these days? Plus: we don't get paid the big bucks here at Scanner to blog about healthy, TV-less lives, do we?