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Today in Awkward Moments: Couple Marries, Discovers They're Twins

Posted by Bryan Christian

OK, kids, first person singular: I, Scanner Bryan, am an adoptee. My biological parents were 15 and, er, 19 (I think) -- just a couple kids in a jam who felt that handing off their newborn to another couple would be the best thing for all concerned. That's not a decision that I've ever regretted their making, and frankly, although being adopted can often be the source of great insecurity, social confusion, and even tendancies towards self-destruction, I've quite literally never had any problems with it whatsoever.

Why do I mention this? Because the following scenario, which may just sound gross or crazy or kinky to non-adoptees, is still pretty much my worst fucking nightmare. (PS: Major spoiler ahead if your knowledge of mid-90's indie movies isn't fairly encyclopedic.)

A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister, a peer told the House of Lords.

A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord Alton said.

The only way it could be more terrifying: if the woman was older, and, well, I'm sure you know where that one's going. Eye-Gouge City.

Still, call me crazy, but I can't help but think that the saddest part of this story is that the couple -- who so far have retained their anonymity -- are no longer married. There's nothing to indicate that the annulment they were granted was actually sought by them; it could easily have been mandated by the court. And in either case, what are you gonna do: un-have the sex? Un-love the person? Maybe the characters played by Chris Cooper and Elizabeth Peña in John Sayles' Lone Star have the right idea: everybody's dealt a shitty hand, best to go with what you got and make the most of it together.

Or maybe not. I mean, what would I do if I discovered something crazy about my wife's family? (Which, BTW, there doesn't seem to be much chance of happening.) Hell, I just don't know.

What about you?


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Comments

danrimage said:

Heeeeyyy....nice spoiler for people who haven't seen Lone Star.

January 11, 2008 4:12 PM

tartlet said:

What a crazy story.  I agree with you, I feel really bad for them.  It would be interesting to know how they feel about it...the shock of finding out you've been having sexual relations with your sibling could go so many ways.  Right now I'm thinking that the worst case scenario would have them being so indoctrinated into society's idea of morality that they end up feeling guilty and ashamed to the point where they end up blaming each other and hating each other for what they've done.  Best case scenario in my mind would be that they recognize the amazing relationship they have and together they figure out the terms of a new relationship (in the broadest sense) that works with their moral values,  and is acceptable to society.  Perhaps this leaves them with a close platonic relationship, perhaps it means continuing the romance Big Love style.  I may think that a sibling romantic relationship is gross, but it's not like it would be the end of the world if it happened.  I might change my mind in a decade or so when siblings around the world are fighting anti-discrimination battles for their right to be romantically involved, but that's where I'm at today.

Anyway, I would love hear their personal stories, but at the same time I would hate to see these people subjected to the twisted moral judgements/pronouncements of the media and public at large that would inevitably follow.

January 11, 2008 4:27 PM

Linda said:

I second the spoiler comment ... hey, you guys are lovers of films -- why promote spoilers? It's not like The Crying Game, a majorly-hyped movie, or The Sixth Sense, equally so -- Lone Star is a genius little film many more people should see. How 'bout removing the pic (that gives it away right there) and at least putting a spoiler warning before the text mentions it?

January 11, 2008 4:33 PM

Bryan Christian said:

Aw, dude, you guys are totally right... completely didn't even think about that. I'm definitely gonna add a spoiler alert, and see if i can use some other image.

January 11, 2008 4:44 PM

tartlet said:

Alright, well apparently I'm just behind the times:

news.bbc.co.uk/.../6424937.stm

This confuses matters a bit more, but I'm a romantic, and as twisted as it may be, I'm still rooting for the lovers.  I wonder where the US Religious Right would stand on this one? Why do I get the feeling that they would find incest far more acceptable than same-sex relations?

January 11, 2008 4:51 PM

Bryan Christian said:

Actually, unless y'all can think of something more serious than an image of Luke Skywalker almost kissing Princess Leia on the ice planet of Hoth, I'm gonna stick with this one, just take it off the homepage.

January 11, 2008 5:06 PM

eee said:

The one thing that gives me pause here (well, not the one thing, but)-- they were conceived via IVF and then given up for adoption?  Does that seem odd to anyone else?

January 11, 2008 5:30 PM

tartlet said:

IVF?  Where did you read that?

January 11, 2008 6:04 PM

alimum said:

I think the link tartlet provided is about a different couple.

The twins separated at birth who found out they were related after marriage were conceived via IVF according to yahoo.

January 12, 2008 12:35 AM

Cristina said:

The sibling/incest thing doesn't seem that bad to me if they didn't grow up together.  I know that inbreeding is not the best idea, but most of what's "wrong" about incest is the crossing of the line between a familial relationship into a sexual/romantic one.  If they never knew each other growing up, never even knew the other existed, and never developed a sibling relationship, they're just people who met and fell in love and found out later that they happen to have the same parents.  What's the big deal?  It's a bizarre occurrence, but they haven't done anything "wrong".

January 12, 2008 8:31 PM

lilhuna said:

I agree completely.  I would be more challenged by two people raised as siblings, biologically related or not, than two people biologically related and raised apart. If I found out that my lover was my sibling, yeah, it would probably be alarming initially, but I'd probably keep my mouth shut and let nature take it's course.

January 14, 2008 12:07 AM

Lynn said:

If they never knew each other growing up, never even knew the other existed, and never developed a sibling relationship, they're just people who met and fell in love and found out later that they happen to have the same parents.  

______________

I am Lynn, a sexy BBW who just loves hot and nasty relationship! My father is a very wealthy man, so you know I am not looking for money. I have uploaded my photos on that popular https://www.largesingle.com. My username is lynnsexy.

January 14, 2008 8:54 AM

profrobert said:

I hate to say it, but there stuff that just doesn't ring true here.  This came up as a second-hand story by a member of the British House of Lords in a political context of adoptee rights.  So that's the first thing that makes me wonder.

The second is, did the couple know they were adopted?  If so (and I say this as an adoptee myself), wouldn't it have set off some bells if they both knew they were adopted and both had the same birthday?  Before I did a search for my birth parents, I dated an adoptee who was placed through the same agency as I, and one of the first things we figured out is that there was no way we could be related (our birthdays were 6 1/2 months apart).

January 14, 2008 11:28 AM

Scanner said:

Remember last Friday when Scanner Bryan brought us the story of the twins who were separated at birth and later married? It was Scanner Bryan, an adoptee's, worst fucking nightmare . Did anyone have a hard time buying the story even though it came

January 15, 2008 3:31 PM

About Bryan Christian

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

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Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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