Like that pesky case of crabs that you just can’t kick, Scanner Nicole is not so easy to get rid of. She may have caught a water sickness and vomited Linda Blair-style, been spit on at an Indian post office, and become temporarily obsessed with a dead Thai princess, but she has survived Asia and returned to you. Being away so long, she's bursting to discuss teacher-student sex, fancy-ass vibrators and how to make men cry. In other words, if you want to get rid of her, you're going to have to mow the whole backyard. But, don’t do that! Instead, let her slow-motion run through a field of wildflowers and into your outstretched arms. Because every pervert deserves a little place on the Internet she can call home.