The man pictured here has bad skin, beady eyes, and that hair is actually a wig to cover his bald head. But he's like the Hitch of Japan, except, you know, Japanese and not a character in a terrible movie. His Pickup School for Men Who Can't Get Any teaches men how to get laid, apparently very successfully, and he says it's all based "on a proprietary 'science' he discovered after a decade of careful research."
Fuck. We know he's kind-of right on, too.
Sadly, even women know the science to picking up women. How many of us have gone out with overweight, unemployed stoners who had the right shabby-chic sneakers and perfectly balanced mix of interest and disinterest? And how many of us have known that it's because they had that perfect balance of interest and disinterest that we were drawn to them? How many of us kept going back for more?
That may be the way things happen in America all too often, but it appears the science may be a little different in Japan:
[He] learned that a few simple tricks can go a long way: Women like laughter, compliments and magic tricks. Using these concepts, he devised a proprietary "science" for picking up women that takes into consideration things like reading signals and timing.
After 10 years and 10 new wigs, he'd become so successful with women, he says, that he decided to quit his job and make dating his profession.
Among other tricks, Fujita's method involves a deck of "psychoanalytic" cards that help him determine what kind of girl he has picked up.
He's also got a bag of tricks -- literally -- that includes flaming wallets, talking ferrets and animated algae balls. Fujita asked Wired.com not to disclose anything more detailed, for fear of giving away his closely guarded trade secrets.
"This may seem ridiculous, but if you follow a specific equation, it really works," he says.
We're not sure about the ferrets and algae balls (algae balls, really?), but dudes, here's a tip our Japanese friend might have left out that will help you on any continent: for the love of God, don't wear pleated pants.
[Wired: Inside the Bizarre World of Japanese Pickup Schools]