We found ourselves with a bunch of items coming from Page Six, so we thought we'd group them into one big easy-to-digest, Rupert-Murdoch-lovin' compendium. Hail the Dark Lord!

-- PageSix.com reports that Fox Noise is reporting that Naomi Campbell has reported to a Sao Paolo hospital reporting an as-yet-unreported infection. We report report report, but report she report report!

-- We would totally have watched the Oscars if Prince had invited us to his viewing party. Actually, no, strike that -- it was a post-Oscars party. Also, we'd probably have just watched all the strippers instead.

-- Joe Francis is planning a monthly, PG-13 print version of his Nobel Prize-winning Girls Gone Wild series. Since it sounds like a sure fire way to bore and confound his hardcore fans, we have to assume he's doing it for the same reason that they're putting Kool-Aid into cocaine these days: to get the kiddies hooked.

-- Penthouse Pets are such big sluts that they'll make out with someone mere moments after having sex with another man. To be fair, though, Bachelor Number Two was a journalist, so he had no chance of closing the deal anyway.