Hot Teacher Abbiejane Swogger of Harrison, PA, is the thirty-four-year-old ex-stripper who was busted after cops raided her student-filled hotel room. They found condoms, crack cocaine (woah, Pennsylvania is right up there with Jersey, yo!), Mary Jane reefers, beer cans, and God knows what else.
But it's her explanation for why she was up late in a hotel room with teenage boys that is the real standout.
Ms. Swogger says she rented a hotel room to socialize and drink beer with adult acquaintances, but teenage friends of her son showed up and refused to leave. She maintained yesterday that she knew nothing about drugs in the room and did not give the teens any beer.
They refused to leave-- why does that explanation ring so hilariously false? "No, we're here to bone you, but if we can't bone you, we're going to leave condom wrappers behind and not tell you where and then call the cops... before we escape."
Indulge us in two more great lines from the article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:
Ms. Swogger also said she did not have sex with any of the young people present. They may have had sex with one another, she said, but did so "discreetly."
Ms. Swogger-- probably not her stripper name, methinks-- who is a poorly paid teacher's aide in the area's school district, reminds us of our high school music teacher, who held drug and alcohol fueled parties at his house once in a while and who we once walked in on watching gay porn with most of our friends. Whoops!
[Photo: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
[For more: Fox News and the Post-Gazette]