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We're Worth $842 an Hour In Bed

Posted by Bryan Christian


Ever wondered how much you would net as an escort? We sure have. (Wondered about ourselves we mean, not you. That would be creepy!) Turns out the answer, as judged by the undoubtedly scientifically bulletproof "Gigolo-Meter" is $842 an hour. Which coincidentally is just as much as we're paid by Hooksexup! Ha ha! Who'd a thunk?

Actually, even though we're completely hyped to be worth so much on the black market -- not since we were adopted have we felt this much net value in our body! -- it turns out that $842 is below average for those taking the test. Since the Gigolo-Meter claims to arrive at its valuations "based on averages taken from advertised male and female private escort sites," we're pretty sure it's because we said we were exclusively straight and dressed "casual." (We're working on the wardrobe, thank you!) But enough about us! Try it for yourself and let us know what fabulous level of whoredom you can reach!

(Oh and we lie. We've totally wondered how much you would make as an escort, you dirty dawgs, you.)


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Felix Jones said:

$147. It's enough for a slightly used PS2, I'll take it.

March 4, 2008 12:46 PM

erik said:

$1117. I'm rich biatch!!

March 4, 2008 1:10 PM

Iri said:

$1,142. Crimeny.

March 4, 2008 1:14 PM

gde said:

933

March 4, 2008 1:43 PM

Josie said:

$1163, I almost feel dirty

March 4, 2008 2:09 PM

vix_en25 said:

1,040

March 4, 2008 2:12 PM

drkb77 said:

$1239/hr, baby!

March 4, 2008 2:13 PM

singany said:

1,482/hr...suddenly med school doesn't look so appealing!

March 4, 2008 2:39 PM

Rebecca said:

$1,163! I'm one rich virgin! >:D

March 4, 2008 2:41 PM

Andrea said:

$1,071/h!

How come my high school career advisors never even mentioned it, considering my talents!?

Law school!? Yuck!

March 4, 2008 3:41 PM

camilla said:

1.193

It doesn't hurt that I'm a sex toy manufacturer with a Master's

March 4, 2008 7:45 PM

alli said:

1148.

but I am pretty hot, so you know.

March 4, 2008 8:10 PM

civiljar said:

1224. I wish I could Giggle.

March 4, 2008 8:24 PM

owhitty said:

$1117

March 4, 2008 10:17 PM

smartguitarist said:

1040 an hour. not too shabby.

March 4, 2008 10:39 PM

Christian In Tampa said:

$942, all things considered I feel kinda hot now.

March 4, 2008 11:22 PM

vgnvxn said:

only $193!!  I thought I was a catch!

March 4, 2008 11:54 PM

Emily Farris said:

$995. I'll take it.

March 5, 2008 1:13 AM

Brian Fairbanks said:

1,040. Guess they docked me for that whole herpes thing. Bastards.

March 5, 2008 1:37 AM

Rob said:

$1142! Woo-Hoo!  

March 5, 2008 9:58 AM

godwal said:

$1117

Should have never gone to law-school.

On the other hand, the 65K in student debt doens't seem so bad anymore.

March 5, 2008 12:05 PM

About Bryan Christian

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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