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Spitzer Could Have, Should Have Gotten The Milk For Free

Posted by Emily Farris

 

He's no Bill Clinton, but Eliot Spitzer is not a bad looking guy, save his creepy eyes. He's rich, powerful, and was somewhat avuncular until a few days ago. Who wouldn't fuck him? You know, if he weren't married with three kids? And out of the women who would fuck him if he were unattached, how many would still fuck him knowing he was a family man? Plenty, we're guessing.

So why did Spitzer spend so much money on sex through a professional agency when there were probably hundreds, if not thousands, of women all over New York state who would have fucked him under the table?

Because he could. As Scanner Bryan noted earlier this morning, dude was loaded. Always has been, always will be. $80,000 was more than likely pocket change to him. While some men like the challenge of pursuing a woman, others like to throw down a few grand, get their dicks sucked, call it a night and not have to worry about anything, while still maintaining a squeaky clean image. Or so they think.

Now Spitzer is resigning from his office for having done something illegal that really had nothing to do with being governor. He's resigning because of how he portrayed himself, and the standards he held himself to in front of the cameras. He (and 4 out of 5 New York City newspapers) feel he needs to resign—fine. But the real lesson here isn't don't cheat on your wife or pay for sex (especially when you're the "reform Governor"). The real lesson here is that no one is perfect. And no one should pretend to be. No matter how many times we learn this, we keep forgetting. Why do we continue to expect perfection from our leaders? And why do they keep pretending they're perfect? The most we can hope for is honesty, and integrity on the job. What politicians do in and around their marital beds is really none of our business. 

In our experience, the more perfect someone seems, the more they're hiding. If Spitzer had been cheating on his wife with some random, and not paid for sex, he'd get a slap on the wrist from the media and keep his job. Hell, he could have even kept a mistress. How quickly we forget politicians' marital transgressions when they sleep with interns or lobbyists. Or like Scanner Katie suggested Tuesday, maybe he should have tried to legalize and regulate prostitution while he was still thought of as the governor, and not as a punch line. But neither would have left him looking like New York State's Golden Boy. 

Maybe that's why we're so attracted to bad boys. We already know they're bad, so what could they be hiding? That they knit or bake cookies? Show us a man who wants to legalize prostitution, is forthcoming with his imperfections and transgressions, and secretly knits hats. We'll sleep with him and vote for him.

Image via observer.com 


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Comments

Bryan Christian said:

Slate looks at much the same question:

www.slate.com/.../how-hard-is-it-to-get-extramaritally-laid-anyhow.aspx

March 13, 2008 11:07 AM

wundersmack said:

Letterman got it right when he asked the other night, "Is it too soon to hit on Mrs. Spitzer?"

Check out her profile and pre-heartbreak&humiliation photo from the NY Times:

topics.nytimes.com/.../index.html

March 13, 2008 11:56 AM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one...so far.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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