We dare you to beat the headline for this story of the woman in Kansas (not Kansas City, Scanner Emily) who perched on her boyfriend's toilet for two uninterrupted years. We'd like to know not only how she managed to survive this ordeal but how she was able to maintain an ongoing, healthy relationship with the man whose toilet she was hogging.
The unidentified woman kept telling her unidentified boyfriend that she might leave the bathroom "tomorrow," but didn't until this week, when he finally reported her to authorities. We're assuming this woman is very much in the John Nash way-- meaning, she has greater issues than the world's most brutal case of constipation.
Finally, Googling "woman + toilet" every four minutes has paid off, as we came across this story last night on the AP wire:
it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
Next time, would someone please invite us to the press conference so we can ask the following burning questions:
1. Where did the boyfriend shit?
2. What did it feel like to have a toilet growing out of your ass?
3. Who is this fuckin' loser?! And no, we don't mean the woman who refused to piss or get off the pot. Clearly, the boyfriend does not think he can do better than a woman who blocks up his sewage pipe, earns no money while he works (we're assuming), and waited for twenty-four months before notifying the police that his relationship was in deep shit.
4. Assuming they had sex during this two year "shit-in," shall we say, how did they... wait, nevermind, we don't want to know.
More about this amazing story and its ongoing developments... via Yahoo!
[Thanks to Marco for his assistance.]
