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If you haven't lived in the New York area, maybe you've never heard of Jason Itzler, who's been showing up on Larry King and Anderson Cooper and FoxNews as an expert in the Spitzer Shocker™ -- and now he's claiming to have pimped Spitzer's girl "Kristen" for a while, possibly getting her into a cheerleader's outfit for Charlie Sheen. Well, here's the deal: a couple years back, he got busted for running a stable called New York Confidential and spent a little time in Rikers. While he was there, one of his girls wound up on the cover of New York Magazine in an article that had everyone here all in a tizzy. In the piece -- which is basically a 15-page long crush on Natalia, the lead girl in the stable and Itzler's supposed semi-girlfriend -- he basically poses as the lovelorn, misunderstood pimp, heartbroken and lonely without his main lady. Which, let's stop right there, should smell like complete bullshit to anyone who knows anything about pimping.
At this point, Itzler managed to stretch his 15 minutes into a year and a half of mentions in the New York Daily News and the New York Post, most of which were -- again -- total bullshit. Radar Magazine recently did a handy rundown of this last January -- after Itzler's attorney got busted for running Itzler's prostitution ring for him.
NYP, Sept. 5, 2005: Itzler calls Page Six to tell them he broke off his engagement with his fiancé, who was also his top-earning hooker.
NYP, Sept. 25, 2005: Pimp Biopic
NYDN, May 25, 2006: Jailbird Puts a Sheen on his Image
NYDN, Aug. 17, 2006: (mentions movie deal with Jeremy Piven set to play Itzler)
NYDN, January 12, 2007: Pimp King a New Man. Love Den Boss Sorry About Doing 'Wrong'
NYP, January 13, 2007: Pimp Slaps Betrayal; 'Greedy#@%ing Lawyer'
NYP, January 19, 2007: Tells Cindy Adams he has a reality show, memoir, "movie starring Jeremy Piven," and a Broadway musical based on his life.
And now, he's claiming to have realized as he was sitting on the Anderson Cooper show that not only was he an expert on pimping, but he was also an expert on "Kristen," because wouldn't you know it, she supposedly worked for him a while back. Huh, well, was she remarkable in any way?
ITZLER: She was spectacular. In my opinion, she was the hottest, sexiest escort New York Confidential ever had.
Oh, you don't say, Jason. Wow. And who did you send her to? Why, only the most notorious whoremonger on TV: Charlie Sheen! Wow, that Jason really does seem to be everywhere, doesn't he? (Like, in a time machine, since that's when Charlie Sheen was doing all his whoring, or so he says.)
Since you crazy kids at Fox News seem to be the only people listening to the guy now, we suppose nothing we say will stop you from giving him airtime. Heck, ain't spreading specious and unsupported claims your whole goddamn raison d'etre? Well, all we got to say is: good luck with that!