Drew Lachey, little brother of Jessica Simpson's ex-husband Nick, did not have an affair with his Dancing With the Stars partner Cheryl Burke. You hear? OK. He just wanted to clear that up. You got it? No affair. None.
We're a little confused by this story, but if it's true, the economy must be in worse shape than we thought. A woman in Arizona apparently arranged a friendly barter with a pal: oral sex for gas. Then something went terribly awry and she stabbed him. With scissors. In the face.
Apparently Hillary Clinton was in The White House while Bill was sticking Cuban cigars in Monica Lewinsky's vajayjay. But to be fair, it's a big, big house. And why are we still talking about this?
If only they had YouTube when we were in high school, we'd be as famous as the kid who edited together safe-for-work scenes from a 1980's porn film for a school project. Of course, we would have had to be that clever in high school. And also been a little better on the A-B roller.
Back in October, Maxim voted "Sex and the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker the unsexiest woman in Hollywood. And now she's speaking out. And she's pissed. And we're confused. There are so many, many, many women who are far less sexy than SJP. Just who did she beat out? C'mon Maxim! We wish we could say we expected better of you. Sigh.
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