Is Jin really dead or is he still on the Island? Does Ji Yeon really not belong to Jin after all? Because the time/space continuum was all fucked up and even though it looked like Sun was eight weeks pregnant on Juliette's ultrasound and they thought they'd been on the island more than eight weeks, maybe they actually hadn't? Because wouldn't she be dead right now if she'd conceived on the Island? Even if she got off?
And what the fuck is the four-toed statue? And the black smoke monster? And what does it have to do with time travel? And who is the guy on the ship with the big teeth and the wife beater? And why do I hate him so much?
Is it really 1988 on the Island? Is that why Locke can walk? Because the 2004 version of the passengers of flight Oceanic815 landed in the ocean while the 1988 version is on the Island, alive and still kicking? But how does that explain Aaron? Wouldn't Claire have gone back to being, like, four? Ah! Aaron? Fucking Kate! Ahhhhhhh!
Well, the writers of "Lost" seem to be just as lost as we are because they want you to upload your "video theories" to ABC.com. This is their super-clever, "interactive" way of asking you to do their job, because apparently, they've dug themselves a plot so deep, even they can't find their way out of it.
From ABC.com:
"What's happening to the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815? Who are the Others? What is the island and where is everybody? Tell us what you think! Upload your LOST video theory now!"
Hey, how about you tell us what you think, and we'll tell you if you're right? Eh?
We had to actually sign-up for an account at ABC.com and give them our address (though we gave a fake one) to get this information, but they've done a good job of covering their asses if that's what they're really up to.
We are pleased to hear from our visitors and welcome your comments regarding our products and services. Unfortunately, however, our long-standing company policy does not allow us to accept or consider unsolicited creative ideas, suggestions or materials. We hope you will understand that it is the intent of this policy to avoid the possibility of future misunderstandings when projects developed by us or under the direction of us might seem to others to be similar to their own creative work. Please do not send us any unsolicited materials such as ideas, concepts, pitches, suggestions, stories, screenplays, treatments, formats, artwork, photographs, drawings, videos, audiovisual works, musical compositions (including lyrics), sound recordings, program formats, characterizations and/or other similar materials ("Unsolicited Submissions").
Nope, just send your "theory."
Here's one theory we think is pretty likely, though it still doesn't answer all of our questions. Will anything, ever, answer all of our questions? What can explain the black smoke monster, the four-toed statue and the corroding wombs? And how can it all be wrapped up by 2010?
[ABC.com: Lost Theories: Upload Your Video!]
[Previously on Scanner: Video of the Day: What the F*ck Happens Next in LOST?]