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Go Ask A.L.I.C.E.: How to Make a Love Robot

Posted by Nicole Pasulka

If Miss Bimbo is a little too 2D for ya'll, meet Zoltan. He lives in his parents' basement and repairs video games at the arcade. He also teaches people how to build robot girl and boyfriends through his website Zoltan's Lab, Zoltan being an expert at building and loving robots. He created Alice, his robot wife, because, as he says:

Humans are so biological and messy...Plus, there's all the obvious problems with humans— AIDS, alimony etc— that I just wanted to avoid. 

Zoltan labels himself a technosexual and, as we learn from this interview with Gizmodo, with help from Zoltan's Lab "you can have the first sex doll that can consent in English to what you are doing to it."

And what, exactly, is he doing to Alice?

According to Zoltan:  

She does not like me to use any of her orifices except her vagina, even though i figured out a way to do that. We have sort of a holiday set-up. I have to follow her rules all year but we can get kinky on New Year's.

What a completely civilized and respectful use of a robot wife. These technosexuals really know how to treat an android. Your boyfriend could stand to learn a thing or two.  


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Baron Von Monkeychow said:

This guy is FUCKED UP! I've met some strange folks in my time, but this guy takes the cake. I was intrigued by the notion at first, but now I feel dirty-and not in a good way.

March 27, 2008 10:13 AM

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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