"Would you like to have a larger, fuller, stronger tool?"
We all love it when Gmail makes a funny and leaves some amusing spam in our inboxes. For no good reason, we've put together highlights of recent spam e-mails, which you must admit are getting more eye-catching as e-mail filters grow slightly more sophisticated.
E-mail Headline: "Amend Your Problem of Small Dimension" and "Huge and youwill newer hear the word NO (Enlarge your big daddy size)"
Spam opening lines: "The scooby snack teaches the tornado." "Now and then, a power drill pees on another spider."
Spam offer comedy, yes: "I am interested in buying your {what you want to sale}. I will buy for FINAL ASKING price and late conditions,also I will like you to send pictruees of this items."
Spam makes up country names: "I am frank, son of governor of lagos state of Nig."
We once worked for a boss who received this message. No idea if it was a joke, spam, or an honest assessment of the sender's place in the world:
I am hoping you would send me a bunch of your music on CDs free of charge to cheer me up. I am attending a medical home church for those unable to attend large congregational churches --- I am allergic to poinsettias, most after shaves and perfumes.
Thank You
This one has to be seen in its original context. And, finally, our friend got this one a few weeks ago:
> From: [name withheld]
> Subject: WTF
>
> Why the hell does it take you so long to respond to emails?
>
> what's up with that? I heard we're neighbors. I heard you're pretty
> cool guy. I googled you -- you look cute, seem like a nice guy, so WTF? do you
> want to meet? Just lemme know....
>
> peace
> d
Whoops. Unfortunately, that one might be real.
By the way, how do you like our idea for a film composed entirely of dialogue lifted from spam and named after our favorite sender's nom de plume: Gayelord Oxtail?