We are this close to buying a PS3 or Xbox 360 just so we can play Grand Theft Auto IV, which -- as most of the Internet is now aware -- drops tomorrow. Not only does IV promise to kick the ass of any of the previous iterations of GTA, but it also takes place in a deliciously seedy version of our adopted home of New York -- undoing the work of the Giuliani years in an alternate version of the exact same timeframe.
Also (we are hoping), it provides a nice quiet corner in Brooklyn (ooh, sorry; "Broker") where we can use dirty jokes and virtual whiskies to figure out just how many licks it would take to get to the center of this fresh-faced, pouty-lipped tootsie pop. Priority number one: find out her name. In the promo material we've seen, she's just called "Lollipop Girl," which, you know; sure. But even assuming we get her real name out of her, there are so many other questions. Like where's she from? What are her hopes and dreams? When are they gonna pull her off the side of that building on Houston Street, since we're pretty sure she's gonna distract us right into a bike accident sometime this summer?
And for Christ's sake: what flavor is that lollipop? Cherry? Strawberry? It's killing us not knowing.
And for that, she is our Crush of the Week.