An Austrialian man was acquitted of forcing vampire sex on a 16-year-old girl who claims he stalked her for years, broke into her house, bit her breast and then whipped her with a cat o' nine tails before forcing her to perform fellatio.
So how does one worm his way out of such an indictment?
He told the jury he'd broken off contact with the girl twice after finding out she had lied about her age.
But he was happy to see her again when she tapped him on the shoulder in a sex shop, and asked him to buy her a whip for her 16th birthday.
He said she invited him home, where he admitted he whipped and bit her - at the girl's request.
Well, he's definitely guilty of being a weird fucking dude.