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Watching Too Much Porn? This Will Set You Right

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

If they ran this three-minute disclaimer before every porno we ever watched, we'd definitely have healthier sex lives... and never want to actually watch porn. It's the video equivalent of a tub full of ice water, of hearing a twig snap in half-- in other words, the ultimate boner killer.

WARNING: audio is NSFW, although the boring camera setup certainly is. We kept expecting this Gennifer Flowers wannabe to jump on the desk and reveal her sexy stockings. We're guessing this could be why we didn't do so well in sex ed. 

Double Viking - 80s PSA That Used To Run Before Pornos 

When you're done with that, reward yourself with an ad too cool to ever be topped by any modern television commerical:

Double Viking - Salvador Dali Explains Alka-Seltzer 

And one more: Have you been perverted by newsstand obscenity? An (early?) 60s PSA featuring "George Putnam, outstanding news reporter" may be of some assistance...


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

The Open Cubicle said:

I'm glad a link to this was on Digg.

May 8, 2008 3:52 PM

abenson44 said:

Those intros were placed on porn tapes in the 70s and 80s by lawyers.   No really, they were.  Back in the day, prosecutors all over the country were dragging in clerks from adult stores to face serious jail time for renting those tapes and by putting those intros on them, the lawyers were assuring a decent defense because the law required then, and still does today, that the prosecutor had to prove that the tape alleged to be pornography was "utterly without redeeming social value".  How better to add social value than to make the tapes educational?  These were instructional tapes, how-to-do-it tapes, not porn.

May 9, 2008 9:50 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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