Guys and dolls-- contrary to popular belief, side two of Led Zeppelin IV is not to be played before business time. Neither is anything by the Rolling Stones, Barbara Streisand, or-- God forbid-- Kelly Clarkson. (You'll recall Steve Carell was not in the throes of ecstasy when screaming her name in “The 40 Year-Old Virgin.")
This week, we're launching a six-part list of the Top 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (But Probably Don't.) With each post, we'll feature videos and song clips, links to the full albums and mp3s, and everything relevant we can find.
We'll also be taking your votes in the comments section-- nominate your favorite mood CD and we'll qualify it for our Scanner Readers Top 10 next week.
Today's list (50-41) features the lovely Janet Jackson, plus nine more surprise choices...
50. Bad Moon Rising – Sonic Youth
This very early album from the great (aging?) rockers features a guest appearance by Lydia Lunch, who sounds like she's getting laid in the studio while belting out “Death Valley '69.” Hmm... writing that now, it may have finally hit us what that “69” is supposed to mean...
Listen to Death Valley '69 at e-music.
49. Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
Basically an angry rant spread out over 30-minutes of great pop songs, the sexiest thing about Winehouse's second album is her voice, which reaches new heights (or should we say, in light of recent concerts, peaks?) We don't think "Rehab" will put you in the mood, but it makes for surprisingly good background music in just about any situation.
Wake Up Alone
48. In Concert – Nina Simone
Disappointingly short, mind-blowingly powerful, this 1960s recording features her biggest hit and saddest, sweetest tune, “I Loves You, Porgy.” (The closer, “Mississippi Goddamn,” should be that state's song, just for spite. Don't forget: Righteous anger = hot.) Really, any Nina Simone collection will do.
I Loves You Porgy
47. Psychocandy – the Jesus and Mary Chain
If you take a song like “Just Like Honey” out of its element and end a Scarlett Johansson movie with it, you end up entirely missing its sex appeal. Put it back into the context of raw and dark Goth cuts like “Taste of Cindy,” “In A Hole,” “Taste the Floor,” “Inside Me” (wait, is every song on this album about sex?!), “Sowing Seeds” and “It's So Hard” and you will find yourself cuffed to the bed in no time.
Scarlett Johansson performs with the JMC at Coachella.
46. Transformer – Lou Reed
Reed, going through his bisexual junkie faze, collaborated and “collaborated” with David Bowie (and Mick Ronson, on the strictly-professional end) on “Perfect Day,” “Satellite of Love,” “Vicious” and, of course, “Walk on the Wild Side.” “Wild Side” was the first radio song to talk about transvestites shaving their legs, he's turning into she's, and the selflessness of giving head became a hit only because, it is believed, station owners and government watchdogs had no idea what “giving head” meant. Choice line: “Hey, babe..” and so on.
45. Volume One - She & Him
A surprise choice, considering this is brand new. But anyone who saw their Conan appearance will tell you: you thought Zooey Deschanel couldn't get any hotter? Yeah, that's before we heard her sing. Check out the unbeatable cover of Smokey Robinson's "You Really Got A Hold On Me."
44. Penthouse – Luna
Their album Bewitched is great music to fall asleep to... after sex. This album is almost-unsexy until the hidden bonus track, their cover of “Bonnie and Clyde,” one of the sexiest indie-rock singles ever.