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While You Were Sleeping: Poor Bret Michaels

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

An Austin frat owes somebody $4.2 million after one of their pledges drank himself to death. Should we make this rubber check out to the state of Texas or what?

Perez Hilton has photos of Andy Dick from an outing just prior the fateful arrest. If it had fewer girls, more laughing gas, and lots of crystal meth, it would be just like our roommate's bed on a Wednesday night. 

Is George Bush going to have to try and pardon Mister Cheney? Or commuter him? Or whatever it is I can do because I am installed by God? 

A woman is suing a bar after burning herself with-- ready for this one?-- a flaming shot. The McDonald's Coffee Lawsuit Lady and the Put A Knife In My Subway Sandwich Faker unavailable for comment. 

Remember that kid who was a total dick at his former high school's graduation? Yeah, the judge wasn't too thrilled to see him. 

The Malaysian opposition leader we told you about was finally nabbed for having practiced the ancient art of sodomy on a male aide. Or so his government keeps saying, in hopes they can jail him for all eternity... 

Vh-1 is very excited to report that Bret Michaels and "Ambre" have broken up! They are excited because now they get to announce Rock of Love Season 3! Coincidence?

Related:

Andy Dick And Steven Page: Today In C-List Celeb Arrests

Want Revenge On Your Old High School?

Malaysian Opposition Leader Accused of Sodomizing Male Aide


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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