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Scanner Roundtable: What Counts As Cheating?

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

A Tango story this morning gave us an idea: what do Scanner readers consider cheating? A kiss? A blow job followed by six straight months (but nothing shorter) of sex in a hotel room? What do you think?

We have been taught that the definition of cheating starts with a kiss, and that a physical tryst is the ultimate betrayal. But a lot of other flirtatious behavior can cross into the gray zone. Anything from sexy text messages and phone sex to a lap dance from a stripper and intense lunches with a coworker may not be immediate cause for a break-up, but these acts may be enough to make people re-evaluate what constitutes being unfaithful.

Take Eva, 25, a curator who lives in Chicago. Knee-deep into her relationship with her boyfriend, Rob, she started to feel restless. The sex with Rob was passionless and infrequent. Eva still loved him, but felt a need to jumpstart her love life. One day, she found a three-word email from an ex-boyfriend in her inbox: “How are you?” What started as innocent catch-up emails escalated into graphic reveries about their racy sexual past. Eva felt a thrill she hadn’t felt for months in her relationship with Rob. The ex-boyfriend lived in Italy, so the exchanges never resulted in a face-to-face meeting. Late at night, though, she wondered, “Am I a cheater?”

Damn, if sending e-mails is cheating, we're surprised no one's branded us with a bright-red "A" across our collective chests. But maybe you have a different opinion... let's hear from you in the comments. 

Via Tango. 

 

Related:

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Russian "Cheatr" Photo Group Best, Most Dangerous Photo Group Ever

Nice Girls: Susie Bright on the Compulsion to Stand by Your Man

CBS News Correspondent Embroiled In Career-Defining Sex Scandal


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Comments

Heather said:

Cheating is any action you feel the need to hide from your significant other.  (Well, not literally ANY action... any action in the realm of possibly cheating actions.)

August 11, 2008 11:25 AM

dippy_gumball said:

if it involves another potential romantic partner and you'd be horrified to find out your significant other was watching/listening/reading secretly, you're cheating.

It is surprisingly easy to justify non-kissing cheating, though.

August 11, 2008 11:35 AM

Mandy said:

If you wouldn't want your significant other doing it, then you shouldn't be doing it either.

That's cheating in mah book.

August 11, 2008 12:28 PM

KrazyK said:

Cheating is anything deceitful and secretive that you do romantically/sexually.

August 11, 2008 12:32 PM

profrobert said:

Agree with the posters so far.  If you wouldn't do it in front of your S.O., if you feel a need to hide it, it's cheating.

August 11, 2008 4:29 PM

Hmm... said:

If you're in a serious relationship you know exactly what your partner would consider to be cheating. Doing it anyway and behind their back is cheating.

August 12, 2008 3:45 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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