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How to Trap a Man in the Web of Your Thick, Flapping Eyelashes

Posted by Nicole Pasulka

 

The always scientific and cutting edge Psychology Today takes on the burning question of why long eyelashes on women are attractive to the opposite sex. There are three brilliant discoveries and, of course, some great tips on how to pump those lashes!

Super serious scientific reasons for wearing mascara are as follows:

1. The fact that you cared enough to change out of the sweatpants and put on some mascara means you're down for sex.

Simply having bothered to decorate one's lashes suggests a desire to be noticed. It's like putting out a welcome sign inviting others to approach and check out the artwork. And once they're caught in that frame of luscious lashes, they'll have a hard time looking away.

2. Mascara can make you look like the little girl every man naturally desires.

A pronounced contrast between the eye area and the skin is a symbol of femininity. A woman's darkened lashes also make her sclera (white of the eye) look lighter, a sign of health and youth.

3. For some totally inexplicable reason long eyelashes mean you want someone to take care of you. Because you look like a infant. And who doesn't want to leave their coworker's birthday party with an infant.

Longer eyelashes bring adult facial dimensions closer to the proportions of a baby, possibly eliciting sympathetic, even protective, responses from a beholder.

All right ladies, now you've got all the tools and information you need to go out and feign total and complete childishness making the hormones of some man built in a test tube rage until he can't resist taking you home and undressing you on his parent's futon. Happy Friday!


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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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