You would think it would be a woman (or, if was a guy, then a guy simulating some anal action) that would be the one to try having sex with a metal rod. As insane as the idea is, we'd at least relate to it if someone stuck a long, sturdy tube in their private parts... but only if those parts were the ass or the vagina...
...certainly not if they stuck a long, study tube anywhere else...
We heard about this story last night and thought for sure it would be retracted by now or at least updated to say that actually, the metal rod would turn out to have been used for some other purpose other than this...
"We didn't know what he was doing, but we knew it's not right to have your pants down in a park," says witness Jeff Niemeier.
On scene, deputies found 55-year old Larry Williamson sitting on a picnic table naked, masturbating, with a metal rod protruding from his penis.
Sorry, but we cannot fathom this. The most painful experience of our lives was getting a routine STD test in which a (can't even type the word) was shoved inside (nope, can't finish the sentence either-- it was that traumatizing.) In our experience, nothing is ever, ever supposed to go in there and anytime it does... it causes excruciating pain of the most unimaginable order. Like being tied to a chair naked and getting whacked in the balls by a villain with some sort of eye disease. Yowch.
PS This guy has been busted for this before-- not the metal rod part, thank God-- and was found with:
binoculars, sex toys, male enhancement drugs, lotions, a small dog, candy and bags of cotton candy-things often used to lure children.
Good Christ! What the hell was he going to do with the small dog?! Never mind, the metal rod thing around caused us considerable emotional distress, we don't want to know any more...
Via WEHT.
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