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Top 5 Worst TV Spinoffs

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Most great (or at least successful shows) have had as spinoff or two spun from them. Unfortunately, they are almost uniformly insulting to humanity.

Take, for example, these five forgotten fiascos... which we've brought back full force just when you had finally gotten over the painful experiences you had watching them the first time around...

5. A Man Called Hawk. This definitely has kitsch factor going for it-- otherwise, it would be far and away our #1 choice. This 1989 masterpiece, a spinoff of Spenser For Hire, has easily the most unintentionally hilarious opening credit sequence in television history. That's enough to earn it a place on our very short list...

4. The Tortellis. Remember Dan Hedaya? He was in the Usual Suspects and some other popular films, for one thing. Another thing: he played the absentee husband to Carla on Cheers... for six episodes. Not too long after, executives decided they needed to start spinning off their hit show for George Wendt and Kelsey Grammar vehicles (who woulda thunk that they'd have such hits?) One of their less-inspired ideas was this show, seen here in a bumper from its early days.

3. After M*A*S*H. Christ Almighty, hadn't this show been around long enough? After more than a decade on the air, M*A*S*H concluded in 1983 with one of the best and most-watched shows in television history, a finale so powerful and satisfying that even Hollywood would know to let it go out in style... oops. The next thing you know, After takes up where the original left off, set after the war in a veteran's hospital but it's really not the same without the blood and gallows humor. Or Alan Alda and his space alien voice.

2. Joey. A stiff, overrated primetime soap opera-comedy goes off the air as the #1 show... what do you do next? Apparently, find the third wheel character and expand his role into a whole new series. (Hey, it worked for Frasier, right?) It's even worse than you imagined when you heard they were doing it:

1. Saved By The Bell: The College Years. Say what you will about Saved By The Bell's original run (we'll say: worst long-running "comedy" ever, bar none), it couldn't have been as awful as this. Could it?

 

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Comments

jenny said:

What's frightening is that back in the day I LOVED saved by the bell the college years and when i saw this post, I realised I still knew the theme song!  Impressive/horrible!

October 22, 2008 1:26 PM

danrimage said:

We were sadly denied A man Called Hawk in the UK, but I'd totally watch that shit.

Also, why was Klinger still cross-dressng in peace time? Surely the whole point of that sub-plot was that he was pretending to be mad so they'd send him home from the front?

October 22, 2008 2:14 PM

Brian said:

You missed the most important one.  "The Art of Being Nick" was about the life of Mallory's boyfriend from Family Ties.

October 22, 2008 4:58 PM

profrobert said:

I was trying to think of some that were worse: Fish, Joanie Loves Chachi, Archie's Place.  But I think you're right; these are the five worst.

October 22, 2008 5:18 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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