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What A Dick: Guy Invades Old Lady's House, Gets One in the Nuts

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

If you could've made this story up, what would you name the suspect in a home invasion, who was there presumably to rape an 88-year-old woman, who then grabbed him by the balls until he ran away and was quickly arrested?

No, really-- what would be the best name imaginable for a guy like this?

How about Michael Dick? Seriously, that's the name of a guy making major national news today in Portland, Oregon... perhaps due to the fact that he got his ass kicked by an epically awesome senior citizen, who wishes to remain anonymous, after breaking into her house and throwing her face-down onto a chair, whereupon our hero of the day, wearing only a bathrobe, reached back and got a handful of his genitals. Dick(head) then ran out of there without a word, taking off in a car which was soon spotted by the cops.

Michael G. Dick, a 46-year-old resident of Dersham, faces indecency, burglary, and other charges.

Photo via wire services.

 

Related:

Arousal Brings Out the Creep in Many Dudes

 

Creepy Time Warner Hunk Calendar

 

Skull Spikes, Arm Ears and 5 Other Things We'll Never Do To Our Bodies


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Dec 31 2008, 01:36 PM
Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments

Terry Wagar said:

Eric Carlson and Joan Wagar, A,K,A, Doubleclick and Mrs Dash,( yes those are there nicknames they gave each other.) admitted to poisoning me while I was a plasma donor back in 2005.

Eric Carlson pedofied me behind prison walls and then framed me as a pedophile on march 26th 2007, I caught the crime on a audio recorder I put in Joan's purse.

there were people in authority helping them with this and nobody in authority will help they pretend nothing happened and refuse to investigate this.

Eric Carlson changed his hair color and his name but this is not hidden, only ignored by the authority's and media

I'm disabled from being poisoned and the hospitals refuse to admit I'm poisoned.

My Family is in danger from these people and I have no other recorse but to make these charges public.

My name is Terry Wagar,Im from Portland Oregon and I'm backing up these charges.

I have been threatened with harassment charges by a Sargent Walker, She is a portland police officer stationed at the OHSU hospital, for the non crime of reporting a multi murder conspiracy within that hospital.

They dont give a s4!t Joan and Eric was poisoning a plasma donor!

And how many god damn john ray's in authority are there in portland oregon!

You damn serial killer.

December 31, 2008 8:01 PM

John Collins said:

This dude desereves to have his CUT OFF!

Jess

www.privacy.es.tc

December 31, 2008 9:20 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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