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Scanner

The Porno Oscars

Posted by Scanner Matt

 

With the 26th Annual AVN Adult Movie Awards just around the corner, we thought we'd share with you some of the nominations.

Our favorite part about this national porn party (there's also a convention) set for Las Vegas is how the scheduling always coincides with the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES). Cause who's a better skin flick aficianado than a lonely techie nerd?

So with nomination categories as mundane sounding as Best Sex Comedy, as expected as Best Oral Sex Scene and as possibly well-meaning but grossly outdated as Best Interracial Release here are a few of our favorites that make us laugh and cry a little for all of humanity:


Clever Title of the Year
 
America’s Next Top Tranny, Goodfellas/Devil’s Film
Bareback Mount Him, Combat Zone
Charlie Wilson’s Whore, Back End Productions
Daddy! Please Stop Fucking My Friends!, Hustler Video
Get That Black Pussy, You Big Dick White Bastard Mutha Fucka, Powersville/JM
Granny Is Fucking Grampa’s Fanny, X-Traordinary/Legend  
Hairy Movie, Zero Tolerance Entertainment
I Was 18 50 Years Ago, White Ghetto Films
Leave It in Her Beaver, Platinum Media
Love Squirts, Adam & Eve Pictures
My Daughter Went Black and Never Came Back, Dirty Laundry/Juicy
Oh No! There’s a Negro in My Mom!, Chatsworth/JM
Sasha Grey’s Anatomy, Teravision/Vivid
Show Me Where It Squirts, XCartel
Strollin’ in the Colon, Hustler Video


Best Big Butt Release
 
Big Booty White Girls 5, Justin Slayer International
Big Butt Slutz 3, Jazz Duro/Buttman Magazine Choice/Evil Angel                
Big Butts Like It Big, Brazzers/Jules Jordan Video
Big Slippery Brazilian Asses 2, Evasive Angles Entertainment       
Big Wet Asses 13, Elegant Angel Productions
Big White Bubble Butts 3, Exquisite Multimedia        
Big White Wet Butts 11, Evasive Angles Entertainment         
Bubble Butt Barbeque, Black Ice  
Freaks Wit Cheeks, DC Cherry Video  
Jet Fuel, John Leslie/Evil Angel
Massive Asses, Elegant Angel Productions       
My Baby Got Back 44, Video Team/Metro               
Phat Ass White Booty 3, Alexander DeVoe/Jules Jordan Video
Pinky's Tons of Buns 3, Black Market Entertainment
White Booty Worship, Elegant Angel Productions      

And here's a recent interview the LA Times conducted with AVN Awards co-host Belladonna.

 

Related:

And the Role of Oscar Host Goes to...

AFI's Lame Top Ten 2008 Movie List

Golden Globe Nominations Even Worse Than We Expected

 

[image]


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Matt said:

Who is pictured here?  I'd like to rent her movie.  (That's not a euphemism, but it should be.)

January 7, 2009 2:34 PM

sincupcake said:

I believe that's Jesse Jane (I could be wrong), but if it is her, rent Pirates (either one, she stars in both of 'em) amazingly elaborate costumed porno....doesn't get any better.

January 7, 2009 4:58 PM

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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