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While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Doctors have figured out how to prevent a large number of miscarriages.

Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell are in talks to play villains in Iron Man 2.

If Jeremy Piven turns out to have lied about his mercury poisoning, he could be in deep sheeeeiittt:

According to the New York Post, many involved with the production are pushing to have Piven's high mercury claims examined by a non-musclebound, non-teevee doctor, and they're hoping the result may "squeeze some money out of him."

[U]nder the Actors' Equity contract, the producers are entitled to have Piven's medical records examined by another doctor. If they suspect fraud, they can sue him. [Defamer] 

Scarlett Johansson wants to open a brothel... in a movie. 

Paris Hilton claims she's only slept with a few guys. In other news, "a few" is now "less than eight hundred." 

Isn't there anyone besides Nicole Richie who could star in the Gossip Girl season finale?

Guy Ritchie's heist movies have such brilliant robbery ideas, these dudes decided to plagiarize one.

And Oklahoma introduced legislation to prohibit the teaching of evolution in schools. You'll know America has emerged from the dark ages when laws start getting passed that prevent anything besides evolution from being taught as possible fact.

And Ione Skye (star of Say Anything and River's Edge) and Ben Lee (ex-boyfriend of Claire Danes) married in India.

 

Related:

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Serial Killer Husband Has A Lotta Damn Gall...

 

Sloppy Seconds: What Pete Wentz Likes Even More Than Taking Pictures of His Penis

 

Going On a Manhunt in the 1980's...


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Comments

Julia said:

If I wanted to hear mean-spirited comments about someone being a "slut" for having slept with a lot of guys, I wouldn't read Hooksexup.

I'm no fan of Paris Hilton, but there are better things to criticize her for than that.

January 8, 2009 2:33 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Well, the title of the post is "Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut," but I guess that wasn't enough to defend her.

January 8, 2009 2:56 PM

Julia said:

The title was clearly sarcastic!

January 8, 2009 3:31 PM

theresa said:

i agree with Julia! Come on now.

January 8, 2009 3:35 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

The title refers to the story itself, in which Paris Hilton says she is not a slut. That is all.

January 8, 2009 4:28 PM

Julia said:

I can't find any instance of the word "slut" before you brought it up, Brian.

Please feel free to make fun of Paris for being tacky, attention-seeking, annoying, spoiled, inane, whatever.  But promiscuous?  That is very much not in keeping with the spirit of Hooksexup as I've always understood it.

January 8, 2009 4:59 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Ah, now I've figured out what's going on. That was a different link than the one we initially wanted to use, which was here:

cityfile.com/.../3763

We decided not to use it because it was a link to a link instead of a link to a story. The quote begins: "Paris Hilton says she's not a slut because she's only had sex with 'a couple of men,'..."

January 8, 2009 5:35 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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