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Scanner

What Happens When You've Got Nothing Left To Live For...

Posted by Ina Maier

 

OK, here's the deal. I had this whole post written up about this 14-year-old girl whose dad sold her into sexual / marital slavery for $16 grand, 100 cases of beer and a couple steaks or something like that, but it probably sounds familiar. Because it is. Scanner Brian wrote about it this morning. (The sandbagging son-of-a...)

Anway, I'm sharing this with you to try and illustrate how absolutely stupid my brain is today. (Really, really stupid.) And once my brain realized that post was worth nothing, it pretty much just shut off. So then I sat there for like an hour panicking about my life, my other top-secret job at which I'm currently supposed to be working, and realized I had nothing left to live for.

Except...

...for the fact that Friday Night Lights returns tomorrow. So here are some hot photos of my favorite members of the cast.

Coach Taylor (I love you).

 

Tim Riggins (I also love you, and you're from Canada).

 

Matt Saracen (I love you, but a little less than I love Tim Riggins and a lot less than I love Coach Taylor. Cheer up.)

 

And seriously, if I had my way, do you know how fast I'd restart my life and be born in Norman, Oklahoma, marry my highschool sweetheart who will eventually become the Coach "Taylor" of Norman North High School, home of the Timberwolves, Oklahoma State's high school football champions (remember, this is fictional), who, shortly thereafter, will become the Coach "Taylor" of the OU Sooners, have football playing babies, and get drunk with my sons' friends after the high school pep rallies?

Answer: Real fast.

Anyway, I'm serious. And outta here.

Related:

Scanner Brian May Not Be Posting Lolcats...

F*ck Yeah, Ryan Gosling!

Once You Go Black


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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