Kansas Citians like to eat. Case in point:
A Kansas City man and his wife were enjoying some ice cream during their Laguna Beach vacation, when, according to the man, two gulls attacked the couple by knocking their ice cream to the ground and then peck, peck, peck, peck, pecking at the man. He said he had no choice but to defend himself against the birds by picking up a stick and beating the fucking life out of them. Well, one of them. The other bird flew off into the sea and hasn't been found. (Read: it flew into the sea to die).
While the loss of any life is, of course, sad, they're just seagulls, right? Right? Nope. Those weren't just any birds the man bludgeoned.
They were, apparently, of a rare breed and now the man, Dragan Djuric, is facing animal cruelty charges.
"That's right," said a Laguna Beach police officer. "He was very upset about spending money for ice cream he didn't get to consume."
Kansas City! Fuck yeah!
In the man's defense, the local Audubon Society said the gulls were a very aggressive breed.
Watch this local reporter re-enact the entire thing while holding onto the weapon, which is still sporting the evidence tag.
[CBS2 via Plog]
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