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Jennifer Aniston Can't Win

Posted by Colleen Kane

I've never been a huge Jennifer Aniston fan; she does not typically have roles in movies I want to see.

But that aside, Leave Jennifer Alone already.

The blogs make her out to be a pathetic lunatic. Let's review some of her crimes, as seen on the Internet:

* She talks about Brad Pitt, a man she was married to for years, when she is asked about Brad Pitt.

* She wants to have children.

* She does not have any children yet.

* She dates John Mayer.

* She is maybe broken up with John Mayer.

* The woman now with Jennifer's ex-husband, hottest man alive Brad Pitt, is Angelina Jolie, is the hottest woman alive.

* Her ex-husband has a million kids while she has none.

* John Mayer says stupid shit while trying to be funny.

* By the way, she wants kids and has no kids

* Also, she is not married.

* She's not getting any younger, and has no kids.

* Don't you feel sorry for her? She used to be married to Brad Pitt, but now Angelina Jolie has him. Also, they have a million kids and she has none.

These are her crimes as tried and convicted on the snark sites. Just look at today's post on What Would Tyler Durden Do? Jennifer is asked about technology and dating, and she brings up that she still has some old answering machine messages from her first boyfriend and even her ex husband, prompting the opening sentence, "Jenifer Aniston is a lunatic." Sound the crazy alarm! Call the men in the white coats! Jennifer Aniston saved mementos from her past!

Sheesh.

Jennifer Aniston Does GQ...Naked

More Pictures Released from Jennifer Aniston's Naked 'GQ' Spread

+ DIGG

+ DEL.ICIO.US

+ REDDIT

Posted Feb 06 2009, 12:45 PM

Filed under: john mayer, brad pitt, blogs, angelina joile, jennifer aniston, leave britney alone, what would tyler durden do

Comments

fiasco13 said:

I will put a baby in this woman YESTERDAY. I agree, leave Jen alone. The more I think about, she is pretty awesome in almost every way.

February 6, 2009 1:26 PM

totalblamblam said:

I think she is pretty horrible. In "almost every way."

February 6, 2009 3:19 PM

blondage said:

I dislike just about every movie/tv show she has ever made, but she seems like a pretty nice lady and a good person and has suffered enough public humiliation - leave her alone already!

February 6, 2009 4:37 PM

Eddie Bryan said:

I'm 55 years old. Jennifer is too young for me.

The movie about the guy who became a rock star, starring Mark Wahlberg was almost good. I don't like the idea that rock groups are little businesses who can replace their members by placing ads in a newspaper, though.

She did approach some real sexiness there.

I really think she would be like a daughter of one of the older pairs at the communes I used to visit. I can imagine, through her age, coming from one of those utopian communes but she is pretty square.

I'm not a big fan of Friends. I haven't seen every episode and I think the music is AM radio, but what can you get on TV? They've cancelled WKRP Cinncinatti. They were an FM station. But friends is no station at all, is it?

The coincidence is that as Friends came on I really had none. My "utopian" friends had told me to take it somewhere else, so I can look at Friends like a Great Uncle or something. I'm 55.

February 8, 2009 1:21 AM

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About Colleen Kane

Colleen has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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