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Impress the Ladies with Valentine Gifts

Posted by Colleen Kane

 

Sure, Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, it means nothing, and you are forced to give some token of affection to the significant other or face the wrath. That's just the deal. But that token doesn't have to be something generic like flowers, chocolates, or those pathetic stuffed animals that no one wants (certainly not any grown woman I know).

To give something more memorable, the secret ingredient is effort. First, you must find out something about the lady you are buying a present for. Is she your girlfriend/wife or are you stalking her? (If the latter, skip this post and step away from everything.) What exactly does she like to put in her belly, accept into her ear-holes or eye-holes, put in her house, put on her body? (It's not specific enough, for quality gift-buying purposes, to simply know that she puts "clothes" on her body. If you need assistance, you can always try consulting one of her friends.)

The following suggestions won't work for everyone, but might provide some inspiration.

* Instead of the default roses, pick her favorite flowers, or plant them for her, or put them in a vase that's her style, such as the glorious Misfits number pictured above. (Also available in KISS, AC/DC, and Thrasher models for way too much $$$ from LeGaragePierreBlanc.com -- it's even French, so, bonus romance.)  

* Does she enjoy the sex? How about a gift card to Babeland? They're available in denominations from $20 & up, their business and web store is so woman-friendly, and whatever she chooses could very well become a gift that keeps on giving.  

* Can't stand to be apart from each other? Has she always wanted a Love Toilet, as seen on Saturday Night Live? Desginer Sebastian Brajkovic has designed something similar, but without the toilet part.

 It's probably really really expensive and you should just duct tape two kitchen chairs together. (Don't do that.)

* Does she have a favorite food treat found only in a faraway land? Is it shippable (or pick-up-able, by you) without causing a gastronomic catastrophe? Deliver it yourself or have it shipped in for Feb. 14 and you will be the PIMP!  Some restaurant/bakery websites, such as the often-craved by this writer Babycakes, list shipping info on their website. 

 

YUM

* This is probably the most potentially budget-friendly option: choose from thousands of items on Etsy.com, where you can buy her something that's handmade and likely one-of-a-kind or limited edition (or vintage, or custom-made), like this cool silver and gold branch pendant ($36).

 

And check Etsy's blog for Valentine-themed items like this sweet card ($3).

 


Related: 

Will You Be Our Sexy Valentine?

The Gamer Next Door Models Your Last-Minute Gifts

Holiday Gift Guide: Personal Submarine


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

melysa said:

I really like your list. Especially the Misfit vase. That's awesome.  And you're right, the Babeland gift card is an awesome gift idea.

If you're bored and want some other ideas, I did a list myself:

flisted.com/.../valentines-day-gifts-for-your-lady-friend-2

I know it sounds like some shameless plug, but I mean it sincerely. I've been reading this site for yours. Thing is I just now started commenting!

February 10, 2009 2:52 PM

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About Colleen Kane

Colleen has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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