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This Quack Says Intellectuals Are Dumb Daters

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Dr. Alex Benzer, who, despite our headline and his photographic resemblance to Adnan Ghalib*, is a respected, Harvard-educated doctor and probably knows more about dating than most of us. After all, he's actually dated a few people... and some kook thought, in this increasingly anti-book culture, to put out a couple of books by him-- for profit! If that's not endorsement enough of his ideas and you'll seek dating advice from some other genius, we're pretty sure Dr. Phil is still on the air, weekdays...

Benzer claims his recent book The Tao of Dating was specifically written for the most brilliant minds of our time, i.e. anyone regularly visits sites like Hooksexup and the Huffington Post, where his post appeared. In an epic story there, Doc Benzer heads a series of paragraphs with his bite-sized advice tidbits:

1. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up.

Well, you could also say, "Dumb jocks spent more time on athletic achievements than on relationships when growing up." Anyway, moving on...

2. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.

See "jocks" above.

3. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being, and therefore don't act like one.

4. You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success.

That seems like a stretch for the sake of reinforcing a weak argument...

5. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect

The intellectuals we know are just as terrible at recognizing terrible mates in advance of involving themselves with those prospects as the, um, non-intellectuals we know...

Benzer says you have three choices:

A) Loosen up

B) Do a very thorough search all over the planet and be prepared to move to Duesseldorf OR

C) Join a monastery.

...before recommending choice A for surviving dating in these dumbed-down times. What do you think of his proposals, which you can read in complete here.

*Dudes, we gotta stop this chin-landing-strip thing. Now.

 

Related:

Scanner Highs and Lows: We've Never Been So Glad It's Friday

 

The Future of Dating

 

Reader Inspired Scanner Roundtable: Is Dating Dead?


Let's Settle This Ridiculous First-Date Pay Debate Once And For All


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Comments

profrobert said:

I think No. 5 was true in my own life -- I've never had much patience with people who lack intellectual curiosity.  If I could have been happy with the type of person who patronizes eHarmony, I probably would have settled down (emphasis on "settle") long ago.

Moreover, although he doesn't say it, I suspect intellectuals are more screwed up than the rest of humanity -- we tend to overthink things instead of enjoying them in the moment.  I'm still working on that one.

March 5, 2009 3:58 PM

thinkywritey said:

I'm a fairly clever girl with a fairly bumpy dating history... I think #4 is my horse, but that may or may not have anything to do with teh smarts. I mean, when it comes to all things interpersonal, don't we all have the same challenges, just in differing shades?

March 6, 2009 10:25 AM

Emily Farris said:

Numbers 4 and 5 are pretty much the reasons I'm still single.

BF, you've accused me of doing number 4 at least three times!

March 6, 2009 11:06 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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