When Scanner Emily and I were eating at Denny's in Oklahoma on Sunday, we had no idea we were smack dab in the middle of the orgy craze that's sweeping teenage America.
But after reading this report from the state's health officials, there's no denying it: we missed out on all the hot sex we could ever require... and more syphilis than we would've bargained for...
The Oklahoma State Department of Health is freaked out because a whopping ten teens have contracted syphilis over the past month, while only 15 were diagnosed in all of 2008. Their verdict? Orgies are to blame. (Our verdict? More people are getting laid!)
[O]fficials are alarmed because syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease most often seen in older age groups and can have significant health outcomes if undiagnosed and untreated, KOCO-TV reported.
Officials are also concerned that the outbreak may spread to counties beyond central Oklahoma. [EVERYBODY PANIC!] They reported that 10 teenagers have been diagnosed with syphilis in central Oklahoma during the past four weeks, compared to 15 teens with the disease all of last year. Health officials believe the growing popularity of teens attending parties where unprotected group sexual activity is encouraged may be fostering the opportunities for teens to become infected, they said in a news release.
"The good news is that syphilis can be identified by examination and testing, cured with antibiotics and, through disease investigation, the spread of syphilis can be stopped," said state epidemiologist Dr. Kristy Bradley in the news release.The department said syphilis is a curable bacterial infection that is primarily spread through sexual contact. A person can contract and spread syphilis through oral, anal and vaginal sex, or through other intimate contact including kissing when a syphilis sore is present in the mouth. [WBAL]
Remember, kids, don't drink, do drugs, hold hands, kiss, or have oral, anal, and vaginal sex. Look, there's a lizard!
Golly, there's so much to do here in Oklahoma...
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