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Bearded Man of the Week: Kris Kristofferson

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Over the next few days, two of your Scanner bloggers will be seeing Kris Kristofferson play solo acoustic concerts. Most people wouldn't even know it if country music's greatest living songwriter passed through their towns, but we never miss him. The author of "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down," "Me and Bobby McGee," "Help Me Make It Through the Night," and many other classics is no showman-- and his voice ain't much these days, either. But few have written songs this good before or since, and that's worth the price of admission alone.

Now, for the first time in ages, Kris is making headlines across the country, thanks to a controversial Rolling Stone article by Ethan Hawke. The anecdote that begins the story is the best music tale we've ever heard... and one you won't want to miss.

Oh yeah... and did we mention lots of beard photos after the jump?

In the new Rolling Stone, Ethan Hawke recites a story that involves hanging with Kris backstage at Willie Nelson's 70th birthday several years ago. While everyone waited in the wings to go on, Toby Keith (he's not named, but it's been confirmed elsewhere) walks by and says, "Hey Kris, none of that left shit out there tonight." We wish we had the full article in front of us (it's not online) so we could recite every word, but here's what we could pick up from press releases and other excerpts:

 At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age...

[After Kris said something like, "What did you just say to me?" and stepped to Keith, Willie muttered something about not getting Kris riled up.] Then Kris, an Army vet during the 60's, got in Keith's face and asked, "Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not, so shut the fuck up."

Mr. Keith replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't what me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer. I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"

And then, right there in front of Ray Charles and Norah Jones and Willie Nelson and a bunch of others, Kristofferson told Toby Keith... "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about!"

[Willie, of course, was trying not to laugh. At the end, he told Hawke-- this is not a direct quote-- "Waylon Jennings always used to say, 'Those kind of people did for country music what pantyhose did for finger-fucking.'" 

Side note: according to Walyon's son Shooter, his Dad used to say that about one person specifically: Garth Brooks.]

Excerpts via the Tennessean, Rolling Stone, and other sources. 

 

 

Meanwhile, Toby Keith and Kris Kristofferson both denied the story, with Keith claiming he never even met Kris that night. The media are having a field day with this one, thanks to there being no other entertainment news out there right now.


Related:

Bearded No-No of the Week: Mel Gibson's Chin Pubes

Beard vs Beard: Rick Rubin and Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Justin Vernon

Top 10 Breakup Songs


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

saraveen said:

long live outlaw country.  i caught kris on the colbert report a few weeks ago and he was still very impressive in my eyes--and ears.

April 7, 2009 2:14 PM

Sickpigs.com said:

That was a great story, until the part where both the primary sources said it never took place.

April 7, 2009 2:21 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Hey, just because they denied it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Everyone in the biz denies every negative story...

April 7, 2009 2:28 PM

steveowinlow said:

Actually, Kristofferson didn't deny it - he very diplomatically "doesn't remember."  The story is almost too good to be true, however, it is hard to believe that Ethan Hawke would just make something like that up.  We won't be hearing from Ray Charles, but maybe someone else who was there will talk.

April 7, 2009 2:52 PM

Mandy said:

I still can't get past the Waylon Jennings quote.

*Snicker*

April 7, 2009 3:37 PM

blondage said:

that's just awesome. :D

April 7, 2009 5:25 PM

Joe said:

The Waylon Jennings quote was the best f'ing quote I have ever heard in my life!  The outlaw country guys use the english language like no one else.  Didn't used to be a Kris Kristofferson fan but I am now!

April 7, 2009 6:07 PM

Dale said:

There's not jump! Why do you people always think there's a jump? It's so pretentious.

April 7, 2009 9:37 PM

oscarsuncle said:

thats because Ray Charles didn't see it...

April 8, 2009 9:11 AM

asb76 said:

What passes for country nowadays is pretty awful.  We're gonna miss these old guys when they're all gone.

Way to stick it to another know-it-all who's never done/experienced what he's talking about like Keith.

April 8, 2009 10:14 AM

James said:

Great story.  Popular country music these days is too much about country and not enough about music.  Bring on the Neko Case and Corb Lund.

April 8, 2009 11:55 AM

Nikolai said:

I've got a whole new respect for Kris now(!) but I still can't stand his singing.

April 8, 2009 1:03 PM

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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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