In West Midlands, UK, the Old Guard is trying desperately to prevent its open-minded seniors from corrupting the youth with their naked garden gnomes.

The full, horrific and incredibly graphic photos of these hideous beasts-- along with equally hilarious quotes from those who seek to save us from these insults to our mores-- after the jump...

For more than fifteen years, nude gnomes have stood in 64-year-old Sarah Smith's garden, unashamed of the imaginary bodies their imaginary God gave them. Then, of course, an unnamed woman moved in next door and was worried her young children might be filled with wild, underage lust for old bearded men if they saw the nude creatures. So she called the town council and had a police officer order Smith's little dudes covered up:

"I don't think they should be in a garden with my young kids running around nearby," she said.

"They are childish and I think it pathetic that they are in a front garden in full view of everyone."

Of course, there's nothing pathetic whatsoever with caring so much about a bunch of naked garden gnomes that you have to get the cops involved. Nothing at all.

Via the Telegraph.

 

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