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Will Her Fetus Be Charged As An Accomplice?

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

New studies today reveal that fewer people are having babies, thanks to the horrible economy. Those who can't afford (or are unaware of) birth control methods are finding that other people having children are too frightening to have anything to do with, and so sit at home, isolated from everyone.

If you think we're making that up, check out today's most bizarre news story: it involves a woman, a gun, money, and a fetus as an accessory to robbery...

This is the complete text of an Associated Press wire we just received:

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. – Police are looking for a pregnant woman they say tried to rob a North Carolina bank at gunpoint but left empty-handed after answering her cell phone. Fayetteville police spokeswoman Teresa Chance said Wednesday the woman had a handgun and demanded money when she entered a Carter Bank & Trust branch at 9:43 a.m. Tuesday.

But she got distracted when her cell phone rang. Police said she began talking to the caller and left the bank without taking any money. No one was hurt.

Chance said investigators talked to a teller who heard the woman but aren't releasing details.

Police said the woman is in her late 20s to early 30s. She wore a dark, knee-length skirt and had a multicolored scarf or bandanna on her head. [AP]

What is the moral of the story? Pregnant women are crazy? Women are so crazy about blabbing on the phone they'll interrupt a bank robbery to take a call? Seriously, folks, don't arrange any playdates, knock anyone up, or go into a bank in North Carolina.

And all kidding aside, we have to wonder if the state of North Carolina, where many people believe fetuses are living humans, will charge the fetus/person as an accomplice in the attempted robbery. We wouldn't put it past them. After all, if it "can think for itself," as anti-abortionists believe, why didn't it stop this horrible crime?

 

Related:

Lisa Rinna Poses For Playboy At 45, Just For the Hell of It

How to Make A Baby

Sloppy Seconds: Elisha Cuthbert Survives Harrowing Hit-And-Run

Burlesque: the Movie

26-Year-Old Man With Body Of A Two-Year-Old... Inside Him (Not.)


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Comments

fuzzyoctopus said:

Well crazy may be debatable but if you ask almost any pregnant woman, she will tell you that pregnancy makes you absentminded. I can't begin to describe how many times I will be in the middle of something, get momentarily distracted, and forget what I was doing.

Losing your train of thought in the middle of a bank robbery seems a bit extreme though.

April 23, 2009 10:01 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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