What does this opening of an online-only article from The Nation make you think of?
Contrary to the rumors I have been trying to spread for some time, Disney Princess products are not contaminated with lead. More careful analysis shows that the entire product line--books, DVDs, ball gowns, necklaces, toy cell phones, toothbrush holders, T-shirts, lunch boxes, backpacks, wallpaper, sheets, stickers etc.--is saturated with a particularly potent time-release form of the date rape drug.
If you said "Why, I thought of those crazy Australian craft toys that were laced with GHB," then you're exactly like us. In which case, we'll save you a bit of disappointment and 5 minutes of your time and say that Disney Princess products are NOT in fact laced with any actual chemicals or drugs. They are simply, in the eyes of Nation contributor and normally less hyperbolic author Barbara Ehrenreich, pure fucking little girl evil.
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