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“Dirty Sexy Money”: Pimping Ain’t Easy

Posted by Olivia Purnell

 

This week's episode is all about pimping.  Almost every female character gets played (proper pronunciation: pliz-ayed) this week.   The dashing patriarch, Tripp Darling, is usually the master manipulator.  But, Simon Elder, the uber-handsome Blair Underwood, is gunning for Tripp Darling’s throne.

We’ll tell you all about it.  But first, this recap needs a visual aid.  Can we get some additional photographic evidence of Blair Underwood’s hotness? . . .

 


 

That’s better.

We understand why Karen Darling is so susceptible to Simon Elder’s charms.  Just look at Blair.  Look at him.  But not too long, we don’t want drool all over your keyboard.  That’s right, wipe your chin, scroll down, read the words.  Mmm-hmm.

However delicious Simon Elder may be, the intensity with which Karen is getting used is a little mind-boggling.  We know that you’re in love/lust, but Karen, girl, you’ve been married five times.  Five.  And now you’re dating your father’s arch-enemy, nemesis, rival-guy, and you don’t think he’s after your stock in the family company?  Really?  It’s a good thing you’re so pretty, 'cause smart clearly is not your thing.

Speaking of dumb, Nick George slips further and further down the Darling rabbit hole.  He pays off Ellen Darling’s brother to keep quiet about the scandal surrounding her untimely death, after skipping out on marriage counseling to help Brian Darling work out a custody arrangement.

Lisa George, for her part, dives deep into the Darling drama, getting pimped (almost as hard as Karen) by Jeremy Darling.  Although Jeremy has failed to persuade Lisa into his bed in the past, this week, the littlest Darling finally succeeds seducing her.   He persuades Mrs. George to lie to her husband and go into business with him.

On that note, can someone please tell us why the Georges are still together?  Nick is becoming a total absentee hubby/father, and whiny Lisa insinuates that he’s not even sexing her on the regular.  They used to be all over each other.  It doesn’t even seem like these two like each other anymore (disaffection courtesy of the soul-sucking Darlings).

Another couple gets worked-over Darling-style this ep:  Patrick Darling, and his M to F lady love, Carmelita.  Tripp Darling tells Carmie the truth about Ellen’s unfortunate end and the subsequent cover-up so that Carmelita will leave Patrick.  Tripp’s manipulation works (T. Darling is ever so skilled in the ways of pimping), but Patty goes ballistic.  In the face of Patrick’s understandable rage, Tripp has a heart attack.  Chest clutching, dropping to the floor, eyes rolling back, the whole nine yards.

Listen, nobody said pimping was easy.


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