Make Art, Make Art, Make Art
2/25/2008 5:53:17 PM
Shining brighter than Jennifer Garner’s diamonds, or all the veneers in Hollywood combined, were Glen Hansard’s and Marketa Irglova’s acceptance speeches for the “Best Song” award.
As Screengrab wrote: “Hansard’s heartfelt exhortation 'Make art! Make art!' sounded like the most subversive words ever spoken on the Oscar stage, and Stewart’s intervention to allow Irglova to make her speech after the orchestra rudely played her off was a clear victory for the good guys.”
Fair play to those who dare to dream…
— N.A.
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How to Learn English, Survive Muggings…and Get in Shape!
2/25/2008 4:03:00 PM
Taken one at a time, each of the components of this video are good things to have in your life: self-defense training, worst-case scenario English lessons for non-native speakers, aerobics. But when they’re combined, it’s just this big, triple-threat awkward sandwich.
—Caitlin M.
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Pundit I’d Like to F*ck
2/25/2008 3:02:10 PM
In keeping with today’s political awareness onslaught, I humbly submit to you all the most important man of my news world, #1-and-only on my PILF** list: Keith Olbermann. With eyebrows more compelling and expressive than Peter Gallagher’s, the fierceness of a thousand disenfranchised bears, and the most consistently well reasoned, informed arguments since – well, you tell me. Has anyone else reporting for a major news organization ever ponied up and told Mr. Bush to get himself a T-shirt emblazoned with the word “Fascist”? Politically and personally, this man just gets me all riled. Enjoy.
**Pundit I’d Like to F*ck
—Caitlin M.
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It's Hard to Be a Baby
2/25/2008 2:59:28 PM
I’m not the kind of person who finds kids doing grownup things particularly adorable (“Look! They think they’re people! Comedy gold!”). But this little francophone, Jordy Lemoine, maintains the Guinness World Record for youngest person (freaking four-and-a-half, y’all) to have a song hit #1 on the charts, with this little ditty, (Dur Dur d’Être Bébé. Which translates to, “It’s hard to be a baby.” Which I’d imagine rings especially true when your parents exploit you into singing bad techno while your video-parents engage in an animalistic sex romp right in front of you.
—Caitlin M.
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Tina Fey: Hillary is my B*tch
2/25/2008 12:13:59 PM
Gods, I love me some Tina Fey. They pretty much made Weekend Update for her, unlike those awful Kevin Nealon years.
Her cracks on LiLo and Kirstie in this "Women's Update" are great, but her rant on Hillary Clinton's b*tchitude rocks!"I'm a b*tch, and b*tches get things done. That's why Catholics schools use nuns as teachers, not priests."
Sing it, Tina! Reclaim the b*tch!
--JGH
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Soulja Boy Grandma
2/25/2008 12:09:57 PM
Hypothesis: When an octogenarian dance troupe performs the "Soulja Boy" dance with ease during a basketball game's half-time, we can officially conclude that Soulja Boy is over.
Independent Variable: Octogenarians performing "Soulja Boy"
Dependent Variable: Coolness of the "Soulja Boy" dance
Results: FAIL
--JGH
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Kimmel Strikes Back!
2/25/2008 11:58:46 AM
Remember when Sarah Silverman f*cked Matt Damon, striking revenge on Jimmy Kimmel's snubbing of the Dame-ster on his late-night show? Kimmel's not taking Sarah's crap! He's f*cking everyone else now. Ben Affleck, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz... everyone!
We also learn that Kimmel has bigger tits than Sarah Silverman. No surprise there! Tetas aside, this video is hilarious.
--JGH
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Ukrainian Drag Queens from Space. Happy Monday.
2/25/2008 11:54:03 AM
Nifty video fact: This was Ukraine’s official submission for the Eurovision song competition, held amongst the 42 members of the European Broadcasting Union. And, apparently, the lyrics generated enormous controversy amongst both ethnic Mongols and Russians. Why? Because a phrase that was meant to mean “milkshake” in Mongol ("lasha tumbai") is, in fact, not real, and the Russians misheard it as “Russia, goodbye,” taking it as a snide reference to the Orange Revolution in the Ukraine.
Because who better to hold responsible for decades of international tension than a drag queen? From space!
—Caitlin M.
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Ralph Nader Announces Third U.S. Presidential Bid; This Guy is Excited:
2/25/2008 9:57:14 AM
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| Mr. Englander, 26, of California, in a contemplative mode. |
WASHINGTON D.C. - FEBURARY 25, 2008 - Speaking on the nationally televised program "Meet the Press" this past Sunday, consumer advocate Ralph Nader announced a third consecutive run as the Green Party candidate for the U.S. Presidency.
In response, Mr. Nathan Englander, 26, of Berkeley, California (pictured above), announced that he was "pumped," and that Mr. Nader was "awesome."
Speaking directly to hooksexup.com, Mr. Englander then continued:
"Yeah! I, for one, am totally psyched that Nader is running. This'll be a real way to stick it to those Republocrats," he said.
When pressed for futher details about his support of Mr. Nader, Mr. Englander then added:
"Because he totally, like, represents a way for me to express my dissatisfaction with the monolithic, corporate, two-party system. And by 'express my dissatisfaction' I mean 'vote once every four years for the same guy' ...assuming that I remember to vote. I think I did back in 2000."
Though Mr. Nader won only 0.3% of the popular vote in the last election, confidence remained high in Mr. Englander's apartment.
"What?" said Mr. Englander. "Hey, Daniel Day-Lewis won best actor last night! Check it. 'I drink your milkshake!' Ha."
Mr. Nader expressed surprise and delight at this unexpected endorsement from Mr. Englander, and pledged to meet with him soon in his apartment, so that they might discuss "things."
"...That's cool," said Mr. Englander, cautiously. "Can you guys, like, clear out now, though? My girlfriend's coming over in a little while."
The Associated Press and ABC News contributed to this report.
hooksexup.com video. Mr. Nader's live announcement of his presidental bid:
--Oliver Miller
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"Even Pigeons Go to Heaven."
2/25/2008 9:11:32 AM
For the 79th straight year, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences held their annual "Oscar" awards, and for the 31st straight year, I failed to watch the Oscars. This year I was especially excited not to watch them, because I hadn't seen any of the films up for nomination. Anyway, apparently "No Country for Old Men" won, beating out "Michael Clayton," and several other movies that I hadn't seen.
Anyway, according to people who actually watched the Oscars, this was the only good part. Full disclosure: I had to stop watching this video halfway through because I got too embarrassed. ...Gary, man. What's going on with you?
And here's a video that -- unlike Gary Busey -- was actually nominated for an Oscar. It's the animated short film "Even Pigeons Go to Heaven." And unlike the Gary Busey clip above, I managed to watch it the whole way through. Full disclosure, though: this flim contains no actual pigeons. So, there's that.
--Oliver Miller
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