Tabloid Fodder: The Sinner in Us All
10/27/2006 5:52:25 PM
People
Sinner: Keith Urban, who admitted himself to a clinic for alcoholism on October 19.
Moral: Being part of an “oatmeal-and-egg-white-omelet couple” doesn’t protect you from addiction.
Star
Sinner: Heather Mills, whose “public clawfest for her share of Paul McCartney’s $1.5 billion fortune gets nastier by the day.” According to “London celeb agent” Mike Hollingsworth, Heather’s “allegations against icon McCartney turn people against her.”
Moral: Accusing your ex of refusing to buy you an antique bedpan so you won’t have to crawl to the bathroom at night won’t win you any friends, even if you only have one leg.
In Touch
Sinner: Lindsay Lohan, Sienna Miller and Mischa Barton. Ladies, “sometimes a T-shirt just doesn’t cut it as a dress.”
Moral: An “indecently short skirt” that “ends at the widest part of her thigh” makes a girl look heavier than she is.
Us Weekly
Sinner: Isaiah Washington, who used a gay slur when Patrick Dempsey was late to a scene on the set of Grey’s Anatomy. Another of the show’s stars, T.J. Knight, actually is gay and came out 10 days later.
Moral: The gays, they’re everywhere!
— Sarah Harrison
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Drive Time Meditation: Non-Halloween Costumes
10/27/2006 5:00:00 PM
You know what drunks call New Year's Eve? "Amateur night." Halloween is like that for people who work hard at dressing in an exciting way. So, what crazy things do you wear on non-holidays?
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This Just In: Borat's Stakeout
10/27/2006 4:00:00 PM
Borat is on a top-secret mission. So, we hear, is Neil Strauss, of The Game. Could they both be undercover in the same subculture, maybe furiously reporting on each other?
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And Now, Jake Gyllenhaal's Crotch
10/27/2006 2:23:00 PM
Further scrutiny happens here.
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Today In Chuck Norris
10/27/2006 1:31:00 PM
"Be careful if you go searching for 'Chuck Norris Facts' on the Internet, because some are just not appropriate for kids." — from an article in which Chuck Norris uses the Chuck Norris Facts as a launching point to talk about Jesus.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Screw Your Arteries
10/27/2006 12:00:00 PM
Maybe we're crazy, but this article makes fried Coke sound really good.
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In the News: Think, Rumsfeld, Think!
10/27/2006 11:00:00 AM
Rumsfeld tells war critics to "back off." When the Secretary of Defense starts channeling Marty McFly, you know you're in good hands.
"The Wave" turns 25, according to the inventor who allegedly spent three years perfecting it.
Sheryl Crow's new album will be "all about breasts."
Brad Pitt kept the cast of his new film amused by giving himself wedgies. Charming.
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PSA: Know Someone in Ohio?
10/27/2006 10:41:52 AM
A Scanner reader has alerted us to this under-publicized anti-abortion bill, which has passed in both the Ohio House and Senate. If approved by the next governer, the law would institute the same sweeping abortion ban in Ohio that now exists in South Dakota. Come on, Ohio residents — you know what to do.
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Video of the Day: The Times They Are A-Suckin'
10/27/2006 9:00:00 AM
Judging from this clip, the Twyla Tharp-choreographed Bob Dylan musical is worse than we ever could have imagined. (More here.)
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Drive Time Meditation: Would You Stick With Keith Urban?
10/26/2006 5:00:00 PM
Nicole Kidman is reportedly supporting her husband as he returns to rehab. "Urban has been in rehab before. For the first few years of his career, Urban played in a group called The Ranch whose first album flopped, causing the band to split up. Overwhelmed by failure, Urban began drinking excessively and freebasing cocaine. He has said that the turning point came when he found himself crawling around a crack house at 5 in the morning, covered in sweat, looking for rocks to smoke."
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This Just In: Fraggle Rock!
10/26/2006 4:00:00 PM
We realize this will be a huge deal for some people: Fraggle Rock is being made into a movie by Ahmet Zappa.
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Today's Halloween Idea: Take the Hellevator!
10/26/2006 3:04:00 PM
"Near the end of the Nightmare, the Hellevator (which looks like a strobe-lit elevator of death and despair) presents an exceedingly creepy picture of what hell may be like. Live rats are shoved into the faces of squirming teenagers by black-robed demons.
After the Hellevator, Nightmare turns suddenly poignant in a room centered around Jesus, who is being whipped and tortured on the ground."
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Stolen from Screengrab: "Leia" Has a Whole New Meaning
10/26/2006 2:00:00 PM
From Carrie Fisher's Vanity Fair interview:
Q: I would be remiss if I didn't ask how you ended up in Star Wars.
A: I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George.
Q: You weren't sure?
A: No … I took too many drugs to remember.
Read more in Screengrab.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Shaq in Botched Porn Raid
10/26/2006 12:00:00 PM
Funnier than the botched raid itself is Shaq's denial, immediately followed by the sheriff going "Yeah, Shaq was there..."
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Special Report: Boobgate
10/26/2006 11:00:00 AM
Some of you may recall the commotion that occurred in the blogosphere last month over a photo of Bill Clinton with a handful of well-known bloggers. Here, as part of Hooksexup's Politics Issue, Feministing editor Jessica Valenti tells her side of the story.
When I was invited with a group of liberal bloggers to meet former President Bill Clinton last month, I committed a major gaffe: I forgot to leave my breasts at home. As it turns out, my faux pas would spark a conservative blog-led flap dedicated to the appropriateness of having tits in the same room as a former president.
The controversy arose when blogger and University of Wisconsin law school professor Ann Althouse posted a group photo of us bloggers with President Clinton. She ended her post with the comment, “Let’s just array these blogger…randomly.” I didn’t quite get it until Althouse’s commenters started in on jokes about the “intern directly in front of him with the black hair.” You see, the “intern” was me. It seems having dark hair and being young while in the presence of Clinton makes you automatic fodder for tasteless cigar jokes.
Althouse’s wasn’t the first thread I saw on the group picture that had mentioned my appearance, but it was definitely the worst. So in expected snarky blogger form, I made a comment identifying myself and remarking how nice it was that women still weren’t judged on their looks. Althouse responded, “Well, Jessica, you do appear to be ‘posing.’” (For a picture? Imagine!) That’s when things got ugly.
Althouse penned a whole new post, Let's take a closer look at those breasts, in which she accuses me of “breastblogging.” Because Feministing’s logo is an ironic mudflap girl giving the finger and our ad for shirts is worn by a woman with—gasp!—breasts, it turns out that I’m all tits, all the time.
“…apparently, Jessica writes one of those blogs that are all about using breasts for extra attention. Then, when she goes to meet Clinton, she wears a tight knit top that draws attention to her breasts and stands right in front of him and positions herself to make her breasts as obvious as possible?”
And thus Boobgate began. Hundreds of comments (some calling out Althouse on her bullshit, some calling me a whore and a hypocrite); over 100,000 views of the notorious photo on my Flickr page; hundreds of links on both the left and right sides of the blogosphere; even an Althouse-hosted podcast claiming that the only reason I was invited to the blogger lunch was to be set up with Clinton. Seriously.
At the end of the whole nasty mess, I realized several things—or at least realized them more acutely. The first: If you’re a younger woman, no matter how much work you do, someone is always going to claim that your success is due to your general fuckability. The second thing I realized was that Boobgate was less about my cleavage than it was about Bill Clinton and the conservative furor he incites. Attacking my appearance was a means to an end—my breasts just supplied a fresh reason to yet again bring up the fact that Clinton engaged in unapproved sex.
Ironically, the most recent pooh-poohing of a Republican sex scandal comes from the very same blogger who took issue with the Clinton picture. When the brouhaha surrounding Rep. Mark Foley and his IMs with Congressional pages erupted, Althouse derided his critics as focusing on “sex” over other, more important issues. (This from a law professor who spent three posts and a podcast waxing philosophical about boobies.)
At the end of the day, Boobgate was just another notch in the anti-sex bedpost of the conservative blogosphere. A sad, little notch—but a telling one.
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In the News: Let New Jersey's Love Open the Door
10/26/2006 10:23:08 AM
Last night, the headline on this MSN story was "New Jersey Rules Neither For, Against Gay Marriage." Today, it's "N.J. High Court Opens Door to Gay Marriage." We choose to interpret this as a good sign.
In "the biggest change to coed classrooms in more than three decades," the Bush administration allows local schools to create same-sex classes.
Bill Maher speaks out on mandatory drug-testing for volunteer librarians.
President Bush has declared that Democrats are "genetically disposed" to raising taxes. (The homosexual lifestyle, on the other hand, is a choice.)
Story of the day: The Dog Who Loved to Suck on Toads.
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Product Placement: Sticky Balls
10/26/2006 9:00:00 AM
Worst-titled video game ever?
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Drive Time Meditation: DC's Sexual Mores
10/25/2006 5:00:00 PM
The feedback is raging on this politics story for Hooksexup: "I Was a Single Woman in Washington — And Lived!" How is your town like or unlike DC in its sexual practices? Are business cards as loaded? Are power couples as weird?
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This Just In: Kate Moss's Baby Registry
10/25/2006 4:00:00 PM
Pete Doherty and Kate Moss are reportedly having a baby. What would make a good shower present? How about post-dated checks for therapy?
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Going 180 on Studio 60
10/25/2006 3:45:00 PM
Hooksexup staffer Pete got an amazing amount of flack for giving Studio 60 an "eh" review a few weeks back. Now Slate, which praised the show's pilot, is echoing his sentiments.
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Underwear Under Fire
10/25/2006 3:13:00 PM
As part of the "integration of the sexes in the workplace," Richmond, British Columbia has demanded that firefighters wear only boxer-style underwear. The city is planning on buying six pairs of underwear for each firefighter in an attempt to curb sexual harassment toward female firefighters. — Jennifer Waller
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Today's Halloween Idea: Buy a Handbag!
10/25/2006 2:13:00 PM
Radar makes a compelling case that today's trendy handbags are inspired by classic movie monsters.
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Beware the Headless (hung like a) Horseman
10/25/2006 12:44:00 PM
An ad from an unsettling German AIDS awareness campaign. Motto: "It's easy to lose your head when you're horny." More here.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Ring Around the Psycho
10/25/2006 12:00:00 PM
A Viennese man is facing harassment charges after cutting off his ring finger and presenting it, wedding band and all, to his ex-wife. "It was an act of breaking free," the man was quoted as saying. He did not miss his finger, could work well without it and did not plan on getting married again anyway, he said.
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In the News: New Jersey is For Lovers?
10/25/2006 10:30:05 AM
The New Jersey Supreme Court is set to deliver its ruling on gay marriage today. (Note the lede, in which the AP refers to New Jersey becoming "the nation's gay wedding chapel.")
Kurt Cobain has topped Elvis as the highest-paid dead celebrity.
Britney's mysterious nameless baby is actually named Jayden James.
Dick Clark has cooler stuff than you. But you can remedy that situation at his upcoming auction.
Hooksexup's ACLU battle is all over the news. Get our first-person account, including transcripts of the trial, here.
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Quiz of the Week: The Great American Civics Quiz
10/25/2006 9:00:00 AM
In honor of Hooksexup's Politics Issue, test your knowledge of the United States government. We scored in the average range for our age bracket (without Googling), but we've definitely been humbled.
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Drive Time Meditation: Debt
10/24/2006 5:00:00 PM
How much money do you owe for student loans and credit cards, and how is it affecting your love life and general happiness?
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This Just In: Bully For Boys!
10/24/2006 4:00:00 PM
At last, a new video game with gay content! You are the main character, a kid in a boarding school. And how are you to waste time if not by kissing other boys?
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Today's Halloween Idea: Haunted Balloon House
10/24/2006 3:02:00 PM
This guy made an entire haunted house out of balloons, complete with "a motorized carousel of galloping insects, dragons and vultures,all ridden by undersized skeletons."
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Dirty Car Art
10/24/2006 2:01:00 PM
This artist is best thing ever to happen to naughty car owners.
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Saddest Lede Ever
10/24/2006 1:42:00 PM
From the New York Post: Warner Bros. stands accused of making empty promises to provide prosthetic limbs to orphaned African amputees and then reneging so that the studio's movie "Blood Diamond" could get extra publicity.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Nip Slip Round-Up
10/24/2006 12:00:00 PM
In their intro to this slideshow, TMZ informs us that nipple slips are "accidental, yet beneficial."
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In the News: Politics as Usual
10/24/2006 10:20:28 AM
Hillary Clinton is forced to defend her high school yearbook photo after opponent John Spencer calls her ugly. BECAUSE SHE CAN'T BE A GOOD SENATOR IF SHE WAS UGLY IN HIGH SCHOOL. Which, incidentally, she wasn't.
On the opposite coast, porn star Mary Carey has dropped out of the California governers' race to spend time with her injured mother.
Transgendered women have been granted the right to use women's restrooms in the New York transportation system.
A chronic amnesiac who disappeared for four days has been reunited with his fiancee. So far, he doesn't remember her.
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From Our Inbox: Tackling an Important Issue
10/24/2006 9:00:00 AM
Hi,
I've got a new web-app that you might find interesting: https://effmarrykill.ning.com/
It tackles an important issue regarding which celebrity you want to fuck, marry, or kill.
-- Ivan
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Drive Time Meditation: Happy Holidays
10/23/2006 5:00:00 PM
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (find out more here). Yesterday was CAPS LOCK DAY. YES, CAPS LOCK DAY. WE ARE CELEBRATING BELATEDLY. What very serious and what completely ludicrous holiday do you most look forward to?
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Today's Halloween Idea: Dress Up Suri Cruise
10/23/2006 3:14:00 PM
Pick a costume for Tom Cruise's spawn! We like the Spock ears.
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Video of the Day: Forget Suntory Time
10/23/2006 2:31:00 PM
Charles Bronson stars in this vintage Japanese commerical for a cologne called Mandom.
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Time to Lower Your Expectations
10/23/2006 1:14:00 PM
Reuters reports that the Japanese tourists are prone to a condition called "Paris Syndrome", in which their expectations of the city of Paris differ so much from the reality that they suffer a nervous breakdown. According to a Japanese Embassy official, "Previous cases include a man convinced he was Louis XIV and a woman who believed she was being attacked with microwaves."
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Nothing's Gonna Stop Him Now
10/23/2006 12:00:00 PM
A Detroit man has been arrested — again! — for smashing a store window to grab a female mannequin. The man's stolen-mannequin fetish has already landed him six convictions in the past thirteen years. "He told his parole officer he was going to buy a mannequin so he didn't have to do these break-ins anymore," said Detective Brendan Moore. "Apparently that didn't work out."
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In the News: Nobody's Got a Clue
10/23/2006 10:32:37 AM
Madonna doesn't really get this whole adoption thing.
Tip of the day: if you get an email from Paris Hilton, don't open it.
Thankfully, Tiger Woods is around to remind us that some celebrities have manners.
Two prisoners in an Ivory Coast jail who fell in love through a peephole in an iron door are getting married.
A Dutch mayor thinks that prostitutes should accompany soldiers on all foreign missions.
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Do Not Disturb
10/23/2006 10:17:49 AM
From the photo gallery of the Muang Kulaypan Hotel's website.
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Crush of the Week: Heidi and Seal
10/23/2006 9:00:00 AM
Heidi Klum and Seal certainly know how to paint a glamorous red carpet picture. He's got rock star charisma, she's got that constant ethereal glow and their wardrobe is impeccable. But the thing that makes them stand out from all the coordinated Hollywood couples is what a good time they seem to be having. Take the above picture from a German Halloween parade. If they're this much fun wearing fuzzy green monster costumes, imagine how much fun they are in the sack. And for that, they are our Crush of the Week. — Gwynne Watkins
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