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- "Imagine my shock at learning the truth of why you left. You were number 12 for me, but I was only number 3 for you. I didn't realize it was such a big deal. Now I feel the need to lie to every new guy I meet about my number. I hate you for it."
- "I'm not deleting my texts for you. If you go through my phone against my wishes, whatever you find is on you, boyfriend."
- "I am not really attractive, a bit judgmental, sometimes arrogant, and I find most people to be too dumb; I know why I can't get a date. Everyone else, your turn to confess."
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