Oh my dear sweet lord!  Attention all hippies. I don't usually say things like this, but please feel free to purchase black-light posters of dolphins, tie-dyed tee-shirts of dolphins, mugs, backpack patches, even tattoos of dolphins, but for the love of Jerry Garcia please do not have sex with dolphins.

Jessica Alba didn't find it cool and neither should you.

If you choose to ignore my plea, or simply wish to spite me and have it off with everyone's favorite marine mammal, then check out this site for a complete vomit-inducing how-to guide. Keep in mind that a male dolphin has a 12-inch penis and can ejaculate as far as 14 feet. Yee-Ouch!