FHM's Ten Sexiest Women of 2009: Hot or Not?

Apr 25th, 2009

Yesterday, Emily revealed FHM's sexiest woman in the world (2009 High-Bidding Publicist's Decision Edition, of course.) As usual, no one has ever heard of her, much as they had never heard of Megan Fox last year. Well, this time we can prove the vote was rigged because the winner doesn't have cache like appearing in a recent #1 blockbuster to help boost her rankings... she's just some random vaguely hot model that is on the rise...

10. Freida Pinto (she should've been higher, especially this year)

9. Anna Friel (can't believe they called the now-canceled Pushing Daisies "massive")

8. Kristin Kreuk (uh, she was on Smallville... and... uh... yeah, hasn't been heard from since)

7. Elisha Cuthbert (booorriing choices in this top 10)

6. Adriana Lima (heard of her, can't place her, moving on)

5. Keeley Hazell (wait, Keeley Hazell isn't as sexy as...)

4. Britney Spears (...automatically invalidating the entire list...)

3. Jessica Alba (when are men going to get tired of this untalented nobody?)

2. Megan Fox (the dethroned champion falls to...)

1. Cheryl Cole. Uh, apparently she was on a show called the X Factor and annoys Simon Cowell. If that's true, why isn't she tied for the top spot with Jennifer Hudson, who is far more attractive? Let's look at the photo evidence:

Comments ( 5 )

Adriana Lima is a goddess - models a lot for Victoria's Secret. Check her out here https://www.kewego.com/video/iLyROoaftZxv.html Megan Fox. A year later and I *still* have no idea who she is. Utterly agree on the Britney Spears comment. Cheryl Cole is mentioned so often in The Sun (UK) they don't even use her last name. In other words she is a no talent nobody.

Anonymous commented on Apr 25 09 at 12:14 am

It's a good thing she has visible, identifiable tattoos so she can be picked out of the herd...

mike123321 commented on Apr 25 09 at 12:27 am

So basically it's a random list of entertainers and people who get their pictures taken a lot. Many I don't know, probably because I don't really watch network television. Others I have seen many times, like Adriana Lima and Keeley Hazell, who seem to be mostly famous for having had large breast implants and then getting pictures taken of themselves in bikinis. The #1 seems to fall into the same pattern. It's all just sad that this is apparently what makes people sexy.

Anonymous commented on Apr 24 09 at 3:32 pm

You know what's sexy? GREAT BIG BRAINS. On anybody. This mag is for wankers. Wankers follow their namesake and that's about it. I like a pretty lady as much as the next guy but there's a huge difference between sexy and a state fair female pony competition. Sexiest lady for 2009? Michele Obama.

Anonymous commented on Apr 24 09 at 4:02 pm

Actually, Cheryl Cole in the UK is one of the biggest personalities in a girl group. However, unlike a lot of pop groups, they write their own music, are active in their own production, and have actually received a lot of respect over here. Cheryl Cole is shockingly sensible and clear headed, classy and well-behaved. She's beloved here because of her business sense and personality, as well as for being drop dead gorgeous...which she is, but not in those horrible airbrushed pictures! Weird American magazines....but really, she's not so bad. Now Keeley Hazel, who the hell is that and why do I keep hearing about it?

Anonymous commented on Apr 24 09 at 6:21 pm

FHM's Ten Sexiest Women of 2009: Hot or Not?

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