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Thu, 2009-05-14 16:22 — Anonymous

 

Archeologists may have found the oldest piece of "art" in existence: A sculpture of Venus de Milo dating back 35,000 years ago. That's approximately 5,000 years before the next Venus knockoffs! So what were the standards for a perfect woman back in the day?

 

 

 The short, squat torso is dominated by oversize breasts and broad buttocks. The split between the two halves of the buttocks is deep and continuous without interruption to the front of the figurine. A greatly enlarged vulva emphasizes the "deliberate exaggeration" of the figurine's sexual characteristics, Dr. Conard said.

(...)By modern standards, he said, the figurine's blatant sexuality "could be seen as bordering on the pornographic."

 Luckily, artistic cavepeople weren't hindered by the Moral Majority Coalition telling them that their statues were sexually deviant pieces of trash.

 (Via)

Related:

Scanner Goes To Art School, Does Not Get Laid

Did You Miss The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour?

Dog Sh*t Art Piece Floats Away, Lands In Children's Home

 

 

 

Comments ( 5 )

Looks like they thought chickens were hot.

Anonymous commented on May 14 09 at 4:53 pm

This has nothing to do with the Venus de Milo, a classical Greek statue of Aphrodite (Venus) from the island of Melos. You are thinking of the so-called "Venus of Willendorf" another Neolithic figurine.

Anonymous commented on May 14 09 at 5:09 pm

Thank you, 'ew'. I was going to say the same thing.

waitmexico commented on May 14 09 at 10:46 pm

Right, ew. I was thinking the same thing. Probably shouldn't even call it a Venus at all, since that was a Roman goddess that came along several thousand years later.

Actually the very first line of the article linked to states, "No one would mistake the Stone Age ivory carving for a Venus de Milo. "

Maybe it was a misguided attempt at humor?

I have trouble believing they actually hire some of these writers. Maybe they find them in the Border's parking lot? You know, like the Hispanic dudes who wait at the Home Depot for someone who needs help digging a swimming pool.

This guy was waiting at the Barnes and Noble's with all the other ivy league guys. Someone from Hooksexup drove by and told him to hop in the truck.

Anonymous commented on May 14 09 at 11:04 pm

In my opinion it looks like the first chicken that was de feathered for supper, if they had supper in those days. Maybe it proves that they had roasted chicken 5000 years ago. Does anyone know when the first chicken was ever roasted? I wonder if they had potatoes with it. Did they find any sculptures of potatoes with it? It might have looked like little round stones so it was ignored by those nifty Archaeologists. Which brings me to my last question, was there a sculpture of a frying pan near by? Not Archeologists, Archaeologists. Who knows the correct spelling of this word.

Anonymous commented on Jun 11 09 at 6:42 am

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