Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

 

We only wish the baristas resembled this 80's lady, but I'm sure they're not quite so "vintage," shall we say...

After months of controversy and protests, the simple coffee shop was finally allowed to open its doors this week in Vassalboro, Maine. The two-item* establishment features topless male and female servers, who are charming and bubbly and refuse to let us photograph them for this blog.

Nonetheless, we find that we can get behind the gimmicky joint...

Despite the fact that this place is nothing more than a meat market at discount prices (as opposed to other meat markets, such as strip clubs and brothels, which would pay the staff a living wage) can be overlooked for one indisputable reason: they are worth supporting because the Puritans are against it.

They aren't against it because people are fornicating in the alleys behind the store and that the property values are going down because of all the drug sales inside. There haven't been and aren't likely to be any of that kind of behavior. This is basically a Hooters with coffee and doughnuts instead of wings and celery sticks; topless waitresses instead of tight t-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination anyway. But check out the quotes a local paper was able to round up from the naysayers:

"I definitely think it's not a good idea. I've lived in town my whole life and we've never had anything like this," Furbush said.

"I don't believe it's going to pan out, not in a small community like this," Breton said. "People move to these small towns because they don't want to deal with bars and adult video stores and a topless coffee shop. It's important for towns to have an ordinance written so things like this can't happen." [Maine Today]

Ms. Furbush-- so, you're against New England Coffee because it represents a change in style from the other establishments in town? Then why do we get the feeling you wouldn't be against a Wal-Mart coming into town? Just saying.

Ms. Breton-- first of all, if you're betting against nudity, we'll take that bet... for any amount of money you're willing to waste. Also, last time we checked (the US Census) people are generally moving away from small towns, for cities more accepting of their liberal/open-minded values. Not everyone thinks God hates their bodies, Breton.

*not those two, silly. And yes, unlike most "topless" coffeehouses in the United States, these women are actually bare-breasted.

 

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