"We grabbed a blanket from the house, laid it out near the hot tub..."
Vitals
Male, 26, Writer/Product Developer
on a date withFemale, 28, Office Manager at an NGO
First Date at cocktail bar/pool party New York, NY
In celebration of meeting new people and the whole kaleidoscope of human experience that can come out of that, we're instituting a new feature where Hooksexup readers can share the details of their latest date. It's like a post-date conversation with a friend. If you're interested in sharing your date with us, we'd love to hear about it.
ACT 1: "It was supposed to be more civilized than our first meeting."
So how'd you end up on this date?
We met, oddly enough, at a pool party at a hotel in Manhattan. We ended up being the last to leave after having way too many whiskeys and playing too much pool volleyball. We left at two a.m., went to a random music studio where some girl was working on her dream, left to hit another bar on the way home and ended up at my place at five a.m. This date was a week later.
Tell us what you knew (or think you knew) about them before you met up. Did you Google them? (Admit it.)
We had already hooked up, so I knew a lot. And I also knew that she was fun but not exactly my type.
What did you plan to do? Whose bright idea was it?
We had just planned to get one drink. It was supposed to be more civilized than our first meeting.
ACT 2: "It was a bit surreal."
So, what exactly did you end up doing? Take us through the sequence of events. Just the facts here.
We started with a cocktail. Halfway through, she gets a text message and starts laughing. I prod her to tell me what happened. So she says that her friends somehow were at some random person's house in northern Jersey and that they had a pool, a hot tub, and lots of free booze. It sounded just crazy enough to be fun. I mentioned I had a car and was up for it. We jumped in my car, and took off for Jersey. When we got there, we immediately got in our suits and swam around the pool and hung out in the hot tub.
Tell us about your conversations on the date. Were they interesting? Flirtatious? Combative?
They were fine. I was trying to be a good conversationalist, but I wasn't drawn in too deeply.
What surprised you most about your date?
After a while, we started getting a bit frisky in the hot tub, so we grabbed a blanket from the house, laid it out behind some bushes near the hot tub, had loud sex and passed out. When we woke up, everyone was up and in the pool already, but that didn't stop us for round two. When we got dressed and walked out to the pool, her friends were rolling joints and drinking beers, and one was dancing topless by the pool. It was a bit surreal.
Be frank: did your date get more attractive as the night went on?
Yup.
ACT 3: "I just knew it wasn't for me."
How'd it end? Polite hug? Taxi sex? Fistfight?
I hung out, smoked some weed, drank some beer, sobered up, and drove home without her. I think she got a ride later.
Hypothetically, if you started dating this person, what might end up bothering you?
I can't say I got to know her enough to answer that. I just knew it wasn't for me.
Would you go out again? And if so, what might you want to do?
Nope. She called a few times and I awkwardly ignored the calls. Not my best moment.
Time for a little objectivity: how close do you think your date's version of this story would be to yours? And what might they differ on?
I shudder to think.
Have a great dating story you want to share with us? Tell us all about it.
Commentarium (18 Comments)
Why are so many people such jerks about telling someone they're not into it? Don't just ignore someone's calls. The least you can do is send a polite text message so they don't wait around for you to call. It's not THAT scary. Geez.
What a dick. Just call the girl or send her an email and say you had fun, but don't think it'll work in the long run. Trust me, she won't be hurt, she'll just be glad she didn't waste anymore time trying to get a hold of you.
I agree. This guy is a dick, or a douchebag, or most likely both. Dumping your "date" in Joisey and then ignoring the calls is not cool.
No he's not. This guy sounds pretty laid back. She's just a clingy bitch.
and this is coming from the guy who's name is huge tits hahaha funny shit
Huge Tits is right. She'll be fine. If either party was looking for something more than a casual hook up they wouldn't have gone so far the first and, especially, the second night.
I'm confused about what changed for him as the night went on. The date sounds like a lot of fun. And it was a second date - so presumably he had already met her, spent some time with her, and decided to go out again. Then he decided to go to new jersey with her! So why, after all of that, was his reaction to leave her in jersey and ignore her calls? Did something dramatic happen that he's not mentioning? He doesn't say anything negative about her, just that she's not his type. What the hell? Can a man explain this to me?
She behaved like a disposable slut and was disposed of as such. Men are dogs, film at 11.
"Be frank: did your date get more attractive as the night went on?
Yup. "
I think that says it all. He was never very attracted to her. Add a few beers and some weed, and maybe things start to look better...but we all know that only lasts for a few hours.
Agreed. That's the impression I got too. He's still a huge asshole.
PEOPLE PLEASE... send a very brief text msg or email! The worst thing you can do is respond to someone's reaching out for you with silence, especially someone you had sex with. While you may think you are subtlely slinking away, what you are really doing is shouting loudly and clearly: I AM AN IMMATURE A**HOLE who cannot communicate directly like an adult. It's not difficult: "Hey, I had fun the other night, but I just don't think we're compatible. Take care, Steve" OR "Hey, I had fun but I'm just not interested in going out again. Take care, Steve." Man-up (or worman-up) and restore your date's faith in humanity, even while being dumped.
so, you had sex with her three times over two dates but she wasn't right for you? I'm so glad I'm happily married. Dating sucks.
As someone who is dating, I can attest to the fact that it does suck. People are exceedingly unkind. Showcasing a little humanity would be nice.
"...went to a random music studio where some girl was working on her dream."
My favorite part of the story haha
When in Jersey, huh?
It's tales like this that destroy my lingering shreds of faith in humanity.
"I hung out, smoked some weed, drank some beer, sobered up, and drove home without her."
on top of being a dickhead, he is a DUI-dickhead.
Hooksexup, is it necessary to give a guy like this a platform? seriously.
Ugh, dickweed.
Now you say something