Dating Confessions by You "I love my boyfriend, but he has slept with four times as many people as I have. He says he wants to settle down, but I don't know if I can do that until I even the score."
5. Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lawler on Late Night with David Letterman, 1982
David Letterman seems to be a lightning rod for high-concept celebrity weirdness, and nothing exemplifies this phenomenon quite like this staged spat between Taxi star Andy Kaufman and Memphis wrestler Jerry Lawler. To summarize: Kaufman first goaded Lawler into the ring by grappling with large women. After several heated matches, Lawler pile-drove Latka into a neck brace. This long con came to a head in July 1982, when the two unleashed their faux fury with an unwitting Letterman stuck in the middle. Kaufman proved that great comedy doesn't need punch lines: all you need is a giant Tennessean with a penchant for the absurd. And some well-placed F-bombs. — C.L.
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4. James Brown on Sonya Live! In L.A., 1987
James Brown is introduced here as the hardest-working man in show business. But he seems to be working hard mainly at melting his synapses with monumental amounts of cocaine. When questioned about allegedly assaulting his wife, he says, "Let's talk about some music! I'm concerned, because there's nothing wrong. The charges were dropped out of love. I'm single and I want to mingle! I smell good. I make love good." Then he moves on to the second coming of Christ. Sensing danger, the anchor tries to get out of the conversation, but James yells with the might of the last drunk to get kicked out of the bar: "But I just got here! And I love you!" The crazy thing? We think he meant it. — M.L.
3. Adam West and Jerry Lawler on Memphis Wrestling, 1977
When Adam West appeared on a Memphis TV station to promote a local car show in 1977, he arrived slurring his speech and wearing what can only be described as "homeless Bat-chic." Jerry "The Evil King of Memphis" Lawler then stopped by, prompting West to inexplicably lecture him on superhero sartorialism and traffic safety. Moments like this are why YouTube exists: the whole tableau is so wonderfully mystifying that it only gets better when watched out of context, particularly when West solemnly tells Lawler, "I've heard about your box." It's like you're watching his Family Guy audition tape. — C.L.
2. Tom Cruise on The Oprah Winfrey Show, 2005
Remember when Tom Cruise was just the really famous actor who managed to dupe us all into watching at least half of Cocktail? The guy who had enough star power to turn down Top Gun until he got to rework the script and take a flight with the Blue Angels on the company dime? Now, previous accomplishments notwithstanding, he's a couch-jumping maniac. It's strange to think that this — a manic middle-aged man running around a talk show set shouting unsettling platitudes about love — has replaced, say, the underwear dance-scene from Risky Business as the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the former most-famous-actor-in-the-world. — J.B.
1. Crispin Glover on Late Night with David Letterman, 1987
George McFly is more than just the poster child for bizarre talk-show guests. He is their reigning deity, the god at whose altar weird performance artists worship. Crispin Glover's Late Night appearance in July of 1987 is arguably the defining moment of this aspect of his career, a purported character experiment so convincing and odd that it actually chased David Letterman off his own stage. And as we've seen, it takes a lot to faze Dave. Of course, almost getting kicked in the face will send anyone running for the hills. — J.C.
