it's true. I happen to be a pick-up artist. without knowing it. texting 5 guys at a time on a date with another. two people in the bar approach me within ten minutes of walking in. I never thought about it, but this article. made me realize, i keep getting almost close to settling, I want to almost. but i would never settle for anything less than perfection. And a threesome would probably be involved. it takes about two weeks and i realize that i don't want them. it's confidence, complexity, social reading. i'm not a beautiful girl. not even that thin, but if you walk like a duchess, people treat you like one.
--bp
05/10 |
Hi Diane, Interesting read – but really Race & Co are jerks. I would never have given them the time of day. They are more concerned with making you feel uncomfortable & self conscious than making you feel good about yourself, which is what a “real” lover would do. I found it interesting that this was all from the male point of view. I think “the flirt” is a wonderful playful thing, but these guys just want to get laid & conquer. I was a pretty brilliant flirt myself in my youth, but when it came down to it, I find most “good” men beautiful, and really, any one of them would make a good mate. I chose an eccentric Jewish man who still makes me laugh daily after 28 years. Lord know why he chose me, but I did manage to keep him ;o) BTW, hurry up with that next book. I am hanging out here.!! :o)
--TM
05/09 |
"Honey, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Oh, and you wouldn't mind if I brought home a fresh piece of meat to share every now and then, right?" Yeah, I can see a lot of women going for that....
--
05/08 |
Race gets it. Smart man.
--ACE
05/08 |
nice work, Diana. I look forward to more of your writing. Thanks, Gabriel
--GTA
05/08 |
You always want what you don't/can't have.
--JCF
05/08 |
The problem with that guy (and assumingly his friends) is that he appears to not view women as 'people.' He'll never have the kind of deep relationship he wants unless he can learn to see a woman as a real person and not just something he can read and manipulate at will.
--DG
05/08 |
Men like this are revolting. And even worse: boring.
--LHK
05/08 |
See, people like Race annoy me. There's no way at all he's as confident as he acts. He uses all of those lines to make people *think* he's amazing, but really, he probably lacks some confidence...especially if he feels most comfortable with women who are easy to manipulate. It takes a REAL man to take REAL responsibility for a relationship.
--ANON
05/07 |
This is ridiculous! This "pick up artist" is nothing but a boy trying to pose as a man! Guys like this end up alone..because they need the validation they get from bed hopping! One woman will never be enough for him...he's too insecure.B
--
05/07 |
Great article! I like the end, despite the writer's doubts. Good stuff all around. I found The Art of Charm through Pickup Podcast (www.bit.ly/pickup-toolbox ) and still highly recommend it! Jordan and AJ's views on life and girls are so naturally attractive that I wanted to learn from them.
--Alex
05/07 |
Oh no! These guys aren't "sad" at all, nor do they prey on women's self esteem. I met these guys and the one thing I can say for ALL of them is that they LOVE women! Not just "love to have sex with women," but really truly LOVE us. I've hung out with some of them separately, some together, with and without various ladyfriends, and I've never met a more positive, life-affirming group of guys. It was almost more fun watching the other women vie for their attention than it was receiving it! Almost... No, no, doubters - they're the real deal.
--kk
05/07 |
This is fantastic. Does The Art of Charm only teach programs in NYC?
--EJS
05/07 |
Oh and to rgk: it is never too late to learn self-confidence. The article talks about how the Charm guys get men to confront their inner insecurities. This is how it happened for me, as well. I was 27 and unhappy with myself, and so I decided to do something about it. Most of us have some secret rationalization for why we "just can't" do what we want or be who we want to be. But it's just a BS safety mechanism we fall back on because it is easier than sticking our neck out. You have now decided that you are middle-aged and that time has passed you by. It's a cop-out. Don't waste another day - go learn self-confidence. It will be hard, but you'll be glad you did it. Become the man you always wanted to be.
--MR
05/07 |
I'm someone who (I guess you could say) used to be a "pickup artist." I didn't think of myself as such, I just met and slept with alot of great women. Then I met my fiancee, decided I wanted to stop seeing other girls, and now here we are a couple of years later, and we'll be getting married in August. Sometimes she'll get a little jealous or insecure if there is a woman who checks me out or something, but I tell her (and it is the truth) that "look - I've slept with lots of interesting, beautiful girls. So I know for a fact that my life isn't going to get much better if I go sleep with one more. And in fact, what I would lose, by damaging our relationship, is WAY more valuable to me than the small benefit I would gain by fucking a stranger." OK, in reality, there might be a "better girl" out there somewhere, with whom I would be even more compatible. But what I have with my fiancee is damn good, and the marginal gain I *might* get if I were to find that "better girl" is just not worth the cost. It's like someone offering you a choice "I'll give you ten million dollars... you can either keep it, or give it back to me for a chance to win 10.1 million dollars." I'm taking the ten million.
--MR
05/07 |
It's interesting to me when I read comments like 'these guys are so sad'. I wonder of the person judging them has ever had to confront oneself in the face of fear or rejection from the opposite sex. The 'Pick Up Artist' who is the subject of this article is basically teaching men how to have self-confidence and overcome their fears and insecurities. What the hell is wrong with that? Stop being so judgemental. I wish I had learned this stuff when I was a young man. Now I am a middle-aged man and I am alone. That can be the end result of not learning self-confidence when one is young.
--rgk
05/07 |
This is a really interesting piece--it's given me a lot to think about.
--KA
05/07 |
It's stuff like this that makes me glad I'm in my 30s, single, and so over the bullshit from preening East Village, etc. people who think they're all that. Plus, one thing the article fails to mention: it's the women too - you can't have one without the other as they have created each other's persona.
--GTO
05/07 |
This is such total utter bullshit! These guys are sad. It's also sad that they prey on women's self esteem. Can't anyone else see this?
--JmZ
05/07 |
I agree, this was such a thoughtful, interesting piece.
--jg
05/07 |
Well written and interesting. Thank you!
--KsZ
05/07 |
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